As a child growing up in South Africa all I ever knew was what was around me. I watched how other Mothers (including my own) mothered their kids, I tried to take it all in and get all the tips I could for one day when I would have bambinos of my own. The problem is this, that was there, and now I am here. So, often times I find myself immersed in a culture of Moms who do things so completely differently than I am used to. Not bad different...just different different. Know what I mean? Or am I sounding a little crazy right now?
It's hard to explain this day to day confusion that I experience. I grew up in a simple way, on a farm, barefoot, chasing chickens, with no running hot water and an out-house for a loo (toilet) for the first part of my life and in a small (horribly small) town for the rest. There are so many times I wonder if my way of parenting my kids is the right way, or the wrong way or the OH MY GOD way. I think some of my confusion is caused by the parenting culture shock that I run into. I remember as a kid, and I don't remember a lot, but I do remember childhood being simple, nothing fancy, just plain dirty old fashioned fun. Being a kid now seems so complicated. I worry that I'm not equipped to deal with it, I worry that I don't know enough to identify the needs of my kids in this cultural context. I worry that since I can't identify them that I pass that onto them and leave them feeling on the outside too. It's very confusing. I try very hard, trust me, but there are times I just don't get it and other times that I just point-blank refuse to do it a certain way.
It's a toughie! Life is complex isn't it? And besides, I needed something to worry about today, so here I am…worried that I suck as a Mother in the culture I choose to live.
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