Screw Ironman...what about Iron Mom?

3:30pm: Yesterday, the work day is done and I head out to collect the kids.

4:00pm: I pick my munchkins up from daycare and we head home.

4:15pm: I start making dinner, a homemade, from scratch, crust and all (okay, okay so I cheated on the crust and bought pre-made pastry, so what??) chicken pot-pie. Skylar has her chair pulled up to the counter and she is helping me put stuff into things. Ethan is trying to chew on some celery, hmmm...yummy huh Buddy? Dogs are at my feet like vultures waiting for morsels to drop.

4:30pm: Dinner is making nice progress on the stove, kids are playing, Ethan with his cars on the floor, Skylar is painting. I bought her some new paintbrushes while I was out at the store yesterday and without thinking I announce when we are home "Look what Mommy got you today!" Of course she is going to want to paint, DUH! So yes, she was painting and making a huge mess, Ethan kept crawling across the paper so he was a disaster covered from top to toe in paint.

5:00pm: Dinner is done and waiting to go into the oven by 5:30 to be ready by 6pm

5:05pm: Have to vacuum, Ethan is scared of the noise and cries every time I disappear from view so we make a game of peek-a-boo out of it. He loves this and is laughing his silly little head off. Skylar, well I'm not sure what Skylar is doing. Painting the dog, my walls and perhaps some other things I'm sure.

5:30pm Time to clean up, scrub the floor, the kids, clean up the paint, blah blah blah, make the bed that hubby decided to leave unmade this morning. Change a diaper, take Skylar to pee.

6:00pm: "Honey I'm home!!!" In walks the hub, house is clean, kids are clean, a homemade (homemade people...need I say this again!) chicken potpie in the oven, the wonderful aroma's wafting through the air.

Now I tell you this story in great time-lined detail because, well because I am f******* amazing that's why. All Moms’ are amazing. We have ten arms, ten legs and can do anything and everything all at the same time, and not only that but all of our chores have a twist to include imaginative play and quality time with our kids. Give a man a pot and a kid at the same time and his whole system shuts down. Now I'm not saying there aren't men out there who are capable and do all of the wonderful things that Mothers do but...well maybe I am!

"What honey? You made dinner? And bathed the kids? Wow, you cleaned the house and even scrubbed the toilet!" One day folks, one day these words will leave my mouth, but for now, they along with Johnny Depp, remain but a mere fantasy.