Says Skylar as she runs inside after being picked up from daycare!!! It's Christmas time again-and oh how I love Christmas with kids. it's just so much fun to watch them get excited with all the things leading up to the big day.
We have taken Skylar and Ethan to see Santa twice now, both times Skylar was in love and had no worries hanging with the S man, but Ethan on the other hand, terrified! Poor little guy. He wants nothing to do with this Santa business. He screamed the first time and the second time I didn't even push the issue, I asked him if he wanted to sit with Santa, he said "no" and shook his head and that was that. Skylar has been telling Santa she wants a kitty, since Tyson passed away last year, she really has wanted another kitty. She won't be getting that this year, but sometime soon we hope. So her sleeping bag that she sleeps on at daycare broke and she needed a new one, so she says to me...thinking first..."I have an idea, maybe I can ask Santa to buy me one." ha ha ha ha, I love it!
So the tree has been up, ornaments have been tugged on, rearranged, some have gone missing, but it's still up. Two kids, two dogs and a cat later - the tree is still standing. I think that's pretty impressive. The moment I am waiting for is Christmas morning when they come into the living room and there before them will be the big moment, Christmas Morning in all it's grandeur. I loved being a kid and waking up on Christmas morning, the tree having bore the fruit of every child's dreams - presents...the all magical presents.
Of course we recognise Christmas for what it is, but as a kid there is nothing more magical than that moment, that first moment of realisation on Christmas morning, the moment when you feel the world around you stand still momentarily while excitement takes hold of every inch of your little body, the moment when you believe in the magic of Christmas. I can't wait to share that moment with my two little people this year. For them it's one thing, for us as parents our magical moment is seeing that happiness in our children, that excitement and knowing that somehow in some small way, other than our every day actions we can make their dreams come true. Being a parent is the best gift I could wish for this Christmas, having 100% patience 100% of the time is a gift I hope to one day receive :)
Merry Christmas everyone.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
Deep Thoughts
Lately I find myself watching my kids and I will just stand there and watch them play and laugh and copy each other. They are so carefree. I think back to a time in my life when I was a child and my brother and I would run around the same exact way, laughter would follow us wherever we went. We would spend mud-covered days romping in the dirty dam water with the dogs on the farm, we would ride our bikes down long dirt tracks. Life was good, simple, it was childhood. And then one day we woke up and life as we knew it was never going to be the same. We watched our Mother being carried out of our house, never a thought that that would be it, that we would never get to say goodbye...and just like that, for my brother and I childhood ended that day. Every day since then I have wondered what things would have been like, how different things would have been. It's a hollow echo in my heart day in and day out.
At the end of every day when I go to pick my kids up from daycare, the look on their face is priceless, the love they throw at me overwhelms my very being, and there they are, two little people who rely and depend on me every day for everything. I cannot imagine if something were to happen to me. I never want my kids to have to feel that pain, that loneliness, that emptiness that I have felt every day since the day my Mom died. I wish I could wrap these little people in a huge big bubble and protect them from life, it hurts me to think of the pain they are going to go through in their own lives, I wish I could protect them from that.
My consolation is that as my little people grow they attach to each other it seems, they are getting closer by the day and I hope that in life they always have each other to lean on. Nobody understands you like a sibling does, because nobody else but them experiences the home life that you do. For me, sometimes I feel like, while I'm part of a family, we aren't close, I mean close in terms of talking to each other every week or even emailing every week. I feel close to my family in that I love them all very much, but I feel distant in that I don't think any of them really know who I am as a person, truly know me. We all went our separate ways early on in adult life and I think in a sense as we were finding ourselves we lost sight of each other. It feels lonely sometimes.
All I want is for my little people to grow up in a home that is full of love, a home that makes them feel safe, secure and a home where childhood is childhood and one day as they are adults and telling their kids stories of when they were little, I hope they can remember it, the happy times, the good times. I don't remember childhood, or much of it, I remember that things were once uncomplicated, childhood was once fun.
Sorry for the heavy load. It's hard to explain how much I love my kids and want to protect them and it's only escalated with my own childhood experiences.
Skylar and Ethan are best friends these days, and honestly I thought it would be Ethan who would want to copy Skylar and not the other way around. Well Skylar likes to do things that Ethan does. For example the other night she is crying in bed so I go up there and she is crying because she wants pajamas like Ethan's. In the morning she wants to wear a coat like Ethan, and really the list goes on. It's funny. And he, well I suppose he does everything she does too. It's almost funny to watch them, they are practically clones of one another, only Ethan is a boy and Skylar...well she's a girl of course. DUH!
So the problem lately is that Ethan won't leave his ...in his words "pee-pee" alone. The boy loves it, plays with it all the time. My Hub seems to think that we have a freak son who is obsessed with his boy bits. I keep trying to reassure him that all is fine and it's a normal thing for little boys to do. Hub is not buying it. As per the doc though, it's normal. He's a little Al Bundy, hands down his pants every moment he can find. It's a phase, it will pass. Wait a minute...I don't know a grown man that has outgrown that phase. Oh well. As long as once he gets older he learns the "pee-pee" etiquette and leaves it alone in public. Then we are okay!
Skylar has started preschool and is loving every single second of it. She cried the first two days she went and now when I drop her off she barely says goodbye to me and is off playing with something. I love that she loves it. She needed it and she is thriving on it. She is so excited in the mornings to go it makes me know that it's a good place for her. She cannot stop talking about her teachers and her new friends and all the neat things they do. For Thanksgiving they were asked what they were grateful for, Skylar's read as such "My Baby Brother (first), Mommy, Daddy, Grandmas and Grandpas" I just about died when I read it on the wall of thanks! How darn cute is that? Of course Ethan came first.
Well I really could go on and on and on and on, but I won't. Perhaps I will just start to blog my once weekly (heard that before?) like I am supposed to instead of trying to fit a whole month of little people love into one blog entry.
At the end of every day when I go to pick my kids up from daycare, the look on their face is priceless, the love they throw at me overwhelms my very being, and there they are, two little people who rely and depend on me every day for everything. I cannot imagine if something were to happen to me. I never want my kids to have to feel that pain, that loneliness, that emptiness that I have felt every day since the day my Mom died. I wish I could wrap these little people in a huge big bubble and protect them from life, it hurts me to think of the pain they are going to go through in their own lives, I wish I could protect them from that.
My consolation is that as my little people grow they attach to each other it seems, they are getting closer by the day and I hope that in life they always have each other to lean on. Nobody understands you like a sibling does, because nobody else but them experiences the home life that you do. For me, sometimes I feel like, while I'm part of a family, we aren't close, I mean close in terms of talking to each other every week or even emailing every week. I feel close to my family in that I love them all very much, but I feel distant in that I don't think any of them really know who I am as a person, truly know me. We all went our separate ways early on in adult life and I think in a sense as we were finding ourselves we lost sight of each other. It feels lonely sometimes.
All I want is for my little people to grow up in a home that is full of love, a home that makes them feel safe, secure and a home where childhood is childhood and one day as they are adults and telling their kids stories of when they were little, I hope they can remember it, the happy times, the good times. I don't remember childhood, or much of it, I remember that things were once uncomplicated, childhood was once fun.
Sorry for the heavy load. It's hard to explain how much I love my kids and want to protect them and it's only escalated with my own childhood experiences.
Skylar and Ethan are best friends these days, and honestly I thought it would be Ethan who would want to copy Skylar and not the other way around. Well Skylar likes to do things that Ethan does. For example the other night she is crying in bed so I go up there and she is crying because she wants pajamas like Ethan's. In the morning she wants to wear a coat like Ethan, and really the list goes on. It's funny. And he, well I suppose he does everything she does too. It's almost funny to watch them, they are practically clones of one another, only Ethan is a boy and Skylar...well she's a girl of course. DUH!
So the problem lately is that Ethan won't leave his ...in his words "pee-pee" alone. The boy loves it, plays with it all the time. My Hub seems to think that we have a freak son who is obsessed with his boy bits. I keep trying to reassure him that all is fine and it's a normal thing for little boys to do. Hub is not buying it. As per the doc though, it's normal. He's a little Al Bundy, hands down his pants every moment he can find. It's a phase, it will pass. Wait a minute...I don't know a grown man that has outgrown that phase. Oh well. As long as once he gets older he learns the "pee-pee" etiquette and leaves it alone in public. Then we are okay!
Skylar has started preschool and is loving every single second of it. She cried the first two days she went and now when I drop her off she barely says goodbye to me and is off playing with something. I love that she loves it. She needed it and she is thriving on it. She is so excited in the mornings to go it makes me know that it's a good place for her. She cannot stop talking about her teachers and her new friends and all the neat things they do. For Thanksgiving they were asked what they were grateful for, Skylar's read as such "My Baby Brother (first), Mommy, Daddy, Grandmas and Grandpas" I just about died when I read it on the wall of thanks! How darn cute is that? Of course Ethan came first.
Well I really could go on and on and on and on, but I won't. Perhaps I will just start to blog my once weekly (heard that before?) like I am supposed to instead of trying to fit a whole month of little people love into one blog entry.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Luf You
So the other day I'm standing in the kitchen and Skylar comes over and puts her arms around my legs and squeezes me and says "I love you Mommy". Melts my heart. Then Ethan who does everything his big sister does comes over and puts his little arms around my leg, rest his head on my knee cap and looks up at me and says "luf you" OMG! Is it possible to love these little people anymore than I already do? It's moments like that in life where you just want time to stop and you want to keep the picture and the feeling in your heart forever.
It's been a busy time with pumpkin patches and pumpkin carving and all the Halloween festivities. We went to a pumpkin patch and there were scarecrows all over the place. All the scarecrows that were sitting on the ground, Ethan pile-drived. He jumped on every one of them-too stinking funny.
Skylar has been asking me to go to school F-O-R-E-V-E-R and so one week from today she will be starting preschool. Last night she is sitting on our bed and promptly announces that she doesn't want to go to school anymore. What? We have been building up to this moment for the past year and now she doesn't want to go anymore. I'm guessing she was just tired and cranky and blurted it out without meaning a word of it. Arghhh!
Grandma and Grandpa will be arriving for a visit this week, Skylar is about bursting out of her tiny little body. It's going to be a fun time.
Ethan is talking up a storm these days, it's so fun to hear all the fun things he says. Whenever he sees Elmo he is especially enthusiastic and blurts out "ELMO" he also loves trucks and cars and when he heard the fire engine sirens the other days he said "fire truck!" He's at such a great age where every second he is doing something new.
Skylar is still the same beautiful little spirit she always is. Lately she seems a little quieter. I can't help but wonder what is going on in her little head. I wish I knew what they did while I was gone all day, I wish I knew if she was truly happy every day at daycare. I wish I knew everything. For the sake of the hub-I DO know everything BTW.
There is so much beauty to my life, I try to appreciate all of it, the hub, the tiny little people who wrap their little arms around my legs and say "luf you Mommy". If I have nothing else in life I have my family and really I think that's enough.
It's been a busy time with pumpkin patches and pumpkin carving and all the Halloween festivities. We went to a pumpkin patch and there were scarecrows all over the place. All the scarecrows that were sitting on the ground, Ethan pile-drived. He jumped on every one of them-too stinking funny.
Skylar has been asking me to go to school F-O-R-E-V-E-R and so one week from today she will be starting preschool. Last night she is sitting on our bed and promptly announces that she doesn't want to go to school anymore. What? We have been building up to this moment for the past year and now she doesn't want to go anymore. I'm guessing she was just tired and cranky and blurted it out without meaning a word of it. Arghhh!
Grandma and Grandpa will be arriving for a visit this week, Skylar is about bursting out of her tiny little body. It's going to be a fun time.
Ethan is talking up a storm these days, it's so fun to hear all the fun things he says. Whenever he sees Elmo he is especially enthusiastic and blurts out "ELMO" he also loves trucks and cars and when he heard the fire engine sirens the other days he said "fire truck!" He's at such a great age where every second he is doing something new.
Skylar is still the same beautiful little spirit she always is. Lately she seems a little quieter. I can't help but wonder what is going on in her little head. I wish I knew what they did while I was gone all day, I wish I knew if she was truly happy every day at daycare. I wish I knew everything. For the sake of the hub-I DO know everything BTW.
There is so much beauty to my life, I try to appreciate all of it, the hub, the tiny little people who wrap their little arms around my legs and say "luf you Mommy". If I have nothing else in life I have my family and really I think that's enough.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Scary Guys in the Closet
There is not a day that goes by that I don't look at my kids in complete awe of their innocence and chilhood sweetness. I love how there is so much new stuff to learn and to explore and to discover, the world is so new and full of promise. Each thing they do, each new thing they discover, each new fear...it all just amazes me.
The Hub thought it a good idea to let Skylar watch a snippet of ET (no-not Entertainment Tonight) the other day, yep he sure did! Anyhoo, she sat glued to the TV watching some strange (albeit cute) alien -like creature for about 5 minutes. Five minutes is all it took to have her terrified out of her little mind. She burst out crying right then and there on the spot. Of course I said it wasn't a good idea!!! Did anyone (i.e. hubby) listen? Phhht, of course not. So off to bed she goes, 15 minutes later I hear distraught screaming from her room. I run in there to find her bolt upright in her bed with the most terrified face. I asked her what was wrong and she proceeds to tell me how there are scary guys in her closet. Poor little baby. And why may I ask are the monsters always in the closet? Couldn't they hide other places, like behind the door or under the bed? Does it always have to be in the closet?
Why do boys have a naturally adventurous spirit where they have no fear and think they can do anything without any kind of consequences? And why do big boys remind us of little boys so much, is it that they never truly grow up? I have found many similarities between the hub and the little mini hub. I will list them, and I apologise ahead of time for the use of the word shhh*penis*shhhhh. So with that said, I will start out on that point. Do they ever learn to leave it alone? They take up most of the bed at all times without any regard for the other warm bodies fighting for a sliver of mattress. They love boobs. They believe that they and only they are right at all times (oh wait..that could be me!). Okay so I thought I had more things to list but really what it boils down to is this...my son and my hub seem like the same person, only Ethan a tiny little version of his Daddy, I just wonder, do they ever grow up?
There is nothing like watching siblings learn about each other, watching them grow close and bond in a way only siblings can. I, in the last two weeks or so, have really seen Skylar and Ethan come together, she-watching over him, he -just watching!
The Hub thought it a good idea to let Skylar watch a snippet of ET (no-not Entertainment Tonight) the other day, yep he sure did! Anyhoo, she sat glued to the TV watching some strange (albeit cute) alien -like creature for about 5 minutes. Five minutes is all it took to have her terrified out of her little mind. She burst out crying right then and there on the spot. Of course I said it wasn't a good idea!!! Did anyone (i.e. hubby) listen? Phhht, of course not. So off to bed she goes, 15 minutes later I hear distraught screaming from her room. I run in there to find her bolt upright in her bed with the most terrified face. I asked her what was wrong and she proceeds to tell me how there are scary guys in her closet. Poor little baby. And why may I ask are the monsters always in the closet? Couldn't they hide other places, like behind the door or under the bed? Does it always have to be in the closet?
Why do boys have a naturally adventurous spirit where they have no fear and think they can do anything without any kind of consequences? And why do big boys remind us of little boys so much, is it that they never truly grow up? I have found many similarities between the hub and the little mini hub. I will list them, and I apologise ahead of time for the use of the word shhh*penis*shhhhh. So with that said, I will start out on that point. Do they ever learn to leave it alone? They take up most of the bed at all times without any regard for the other warm bodies fighting for a sliver of mattress. They love boobs. They believe that they and only they are right at all times (oh wait..that could be me!). Okay so I thought I had more things to list but really what it boils down to is this...my son and my hub seem like the same person, only Ethan a tiny little version of his Daddy, I just wonder, do they ever grow up?
There is nothing like watching siblings learn about each other, watching them grow close and bond in a way only siblings can. I, in the last two weeks or so, have really seen Skylar and Ethan come together, she-watching over him, he -just watching!
Monday, September 15, 2008
Chewbacca
Hubby pointed out something interesting this weekend...Skylar sounds like Chewbacca when she sobs. So I paid some attention, pulled up Chewy and listened. WHOA - she DOES sound like Chewbacca!!! Ha Ha Ha. I have my very own Chewy, she's just not as hairy.
Yesterday Ethan hit me in the head (about 100 times) but on this one occasion I sent him to time-out. We were sitting in the living room when it happened, I told him his behaviour was not acceptable and told him to go to time-out. I didn't know he would willingly tromp off down the hallway to the time-out corner though. Off he went, not a peep all the way down the hallway, he plops down and promptly bursts out crying (head back, hand over his mouth...such drama). It was the cutest, funniest, saddest thing ever. I just love this age, everything is so darn cute I could scream. He was okay with time-out till he realised where he was I suppose. Of course when Skylar heard him crying she went in and told him he could come out. She loves to mediate the discipline the house, and hates to hear her baby brother cry.
So season two of soccer is underway and Skylar is loving it. I can't believe how awesome she is doing, she is the littlest person out there, but like one of the other Mom's said, she is not to be under-estimated.
I can't believe we are in the last week of Summer. Where has the time gone? I'm sad that Summer is coming to an end, snow is awaiting, cold, long, dreary football filled days loom ahead. YUCKO! Can you tell I'm excited about Winter...and football? Time to put away the picnic table and umbrellas, dig out the snow boots and winter coats. I put a pair of long PJ's on Ethan last night...they have Santa on them! Long PJ's are long PJ's people...Santa or not.
Yesterday Ethan hit me in the head (about 100 times) but on this one occasion I sent him to time-out. We were sitting in the living room when it happened, I told him his behaviour was not acceptable and told him to go to time-out. I didn't know he would willingly tromp off down the hallway to the time-out corner though. Off he went, not a peep all the way down the hallway, he plops down and promptly bursts out crying (head back, hand over his mouth...such drama). It was the cutest, funniest, saddest thing ever. I just love this age, everything is so darn cute I could scream. He was okay with time-out till he realised where he was I suppose. Of course when Skylar heard him crying she went in and told him he could come out. She loves to mediate the discipline the house, and hates to hear her baby brother cry.
So season two of soccer is underway and Skylar is loving it. I can't believe how awesome she is doing, she is the littlest person out there, but like one of the other Mom's said, she is not to be under-estimated.
I can't believe we are in the last week of Summer. Where has the time gone? I'm sad that Summer is coming to an end, snow is awaiting, cold, long, dreary football filled days loom ahead. YUCKO! Can you tell I'm excited about Winter...and football? Time to put away the picnic table and umbrellas, dig out the snow boots and winter coats. I put a pair of long PJ's on Ethan last night...they have Santa on them! Long PJ's are long PJ's people...Santa or not.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Rules
So yes, I know, I thought I would get back on track and be better about posting every week. But life got busy again, this time I truly was busy, I wasn't off moping in some corner...honest!
Anyhoo, so I started my new job, yes sir-ee-bob, I have embarked on a new journey, a happier one, one that will allow me to work from home. Life is good these days.
I've noticed lately that my kids have rules about things, rules about what can touch what on the plate of food, rules about what cup they drink out of, rules...rules...rules. For example, Ethan LOVES to read. So I tell him to get me a book and he waddles off to oblige, he returns with the book of his choosing and hands it to me with much satisfaction. Then he stands there. I have to actually invite him to sit on my lap so we can read the book, I have to say..."okay Ethan, sit down and we can read the book". If I don't utter those words, he will continue to stand and stare at me. Now when Brian reads to him, he hands over the book and promptly plops down. Rules only apply to me apparently!
As for Skylar, well she now has lined up about six or eight stuffed animals at the bottom of her bed, we have to cover them with a blanket and put them to sleep every night before she will lay down. Well, of course as you can imagine, I now comply and lay them all down (them laying down is an important key) and then cover them up so just their heads stick up. The other night I got her all tucked in and settled down, animals were all snug and laying down. Ten minutes later I hear her crying, I go up to the room and she is sitting up straight in bed pointing at the beaver (it's a long story as to why she has a stuffed animal that is a beaver), who quite coincidentally is the scariest one of them all, and she says "he won't lay down". Okay, so I understand the rules, but can we not make it quite so creepy? It's as if I laid the beaver down, tucked him in nicely and Skylar to boot and all of a sudden I left the room and the beaver sat up straight and harassed Skylar as she was trying to sleep. I was a little creeped out I have to say. "He won't lay down Mommy". Did you ask him and he said no? Did he tell you why he needed to be the only one sitting up straight when everyone else was fast asleep? Anyway, I laid the rogue beaver back down and this time he seemed to comply with the rules and soon everyone was fast asleep. That creepy little beaver!
Ethan has taken three to four hour naps all weekend long...the sleep Gods are shining brightly on me.
Anyhoo, so I started my new job, yes sir-ee-bob, I have embarked on a new journey, a happier one, one that will allow me to work from home. Life is good these days.
I've noticed lately that my kids have rules about things, rules about what can touch what on the plate of food, rules about what cup they drink out of, rules...rules...rules. For example, Ethan LOVES to read. So I tell him to get me a book and he waddles off to oblige, he returns with the book of his choosing and hands it to me with much satisfaction. Then he stands there. I have to actually invite him to sit on my lap so we can read the book, I have to say..."okay Ethan, sit down and we can read the book". If I don't utter those words, he will continue to stand and stare at me. Now when Brian reads to him, he hands over the book and promptly plops down. Rules only apply to me apparently!
As for Skylar, well she now has lined up about six or eight stuffed animals at the bottom of her bed, we have to cover them with a blanket and put them to sleep every night before she will lay down. Well, of course as you can imagine, I now comply and lay them all down (them laying down is an important key) and then cover them up so just their heads stick up. The other night I got her all tucked in and settled down, animals were all snug and laying down. Ten minutes later I hear her crying, I go up to the room and she is sitting up straight in bed pointing at the beaver (it's a long story as to why she has a stuffed animal that is a beaver), who quite coincidentally is the scariest one of them all, and she says "he won't lay down". Okay, so I understand the rules, but can we not make it quite so creepy? It's as if I laid the beaver down, tucked him in nicely and Skylar to boot and all of a sudden I left the room and the beaver sat up straight and harassed Skylar as she was trying to sleep. I was a little creeped out I have to say. "He won't lay down Mommy". Did you ask him and he said no? Did he tell you why he needed to be the only one sitting up straight when everyone else was fast asleep? Anyway, I laid the rogue beaver back down and this time he seemed to comply with the rules and soon everyone was fast asleep. That creepy little beaver!
Ethan has taken three to four hour naps all weekend long...the sleep Gods are shining brightly on me.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Never Trust a Toddler in Public
Let me set the scene. Skylar needs to potty, we happen to be at Target so off we got to pee. She is doing her thing when a lady walks into the stall next to us, sits down and lets all out...yeah you know what I mean!
Anyhoo, what ensues is a belly-ache of a laugh, and of course has me in fits laughing all to myself now when I find myself in public restrooms.
Okay, back to the scene of the "crime" or the "scene of the humiliation".
Lady lets er rip (so to speak) and Skylar loudly says, "Ewww Mommy - who did that?" I try to hush her...but no...she goes on. "Ewwww (of course she starts each sentence with a preface of EWWWW just to emphasize her disgust and to heighten my humiliation) Mommy that lady is going poop!" she says. And then says, "Ewww Mommy, I don't like poop!"
Okay so I am at the sink now, trying to hurry her out while I am crippled with laughter, she has the face of disgust, nose turned up and eyes wrinkled as she exits the bathroom.
So funny, and humiliating all the same time. There is no such thing as holding back your thoughts when you are three is there? The girl speaks her mind, what can I say!
And in another instance of Skylar saying what's on her mind...Old Navy...lady with a serious 80's teased out do...Skylar..."Hey Mommy - look at that ladies funny hair!"
Ahh yes, let the honestly roll off your tongue sweetie...Mommy can take it.
I love it!
Anyhoo, what ensues is a belly-ache of a laugh, and of course has me in fits laughing all to myself now when I find myself in public restrooms.
Okay, back to the scene of the "crime" or the "scene of the humiliation".
Lady lets er rip (so to speak) and Skylar loudly says, "Ewww Mommy - who did that?" I try to hush her...but no...she goes on. "Ewwww (of course she starts each sentence with a preface of EWWWW just to emphasize her disgust and to heighten my humiliation) Mommy that lady is going poop!" she says. And then says, "Ewww Mommy, I don't like poop!"
Okay so I am at the sink now, trying to hurry her out while I am crippled with laughter, she has the face of disgust, nose turned up and eyes wrinkled as she exits the bathroom.
So funny, and humiliating all the same time. There is no such thing as holding back your thoughts when you are three is there? The girl speaks her mind, what can I say!
And in another instance of Skylar saying what's on her mind...Old Navy...lady with a serious 80's teased out do...Skylar..."Hey Mommy - look at that ladies funny hair!"
Ahh yes, let the honestly roll off your tongue sweetie...Mommy can take it.
I love it!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Blog Love
I love when I find a new blog to read. It makes me realise how many wonderful, beautiful woman there are out there who go through the same things I do on a daily basis. Only sometimes they seem to have a better sense of humour about it.
I have a wide variety of Mommy-bloggers who I love to read. They bring inspiration and clarity sometimes when I feel like I need it the most. It's like a therapy session without breaking the bank, it's a friendship without any effort, it's an understanding without the judgement. I love the world of blogging.
I have read so many blogs about lives torn apart and rebuilt by a number of different things. The thing I love is the pure honesty with which some woman write, they say things "out loud" that I can only think. It seems sometimes I am so afraid to say how I feel out loud that instead I just internalise it and I drive myself crazy. Well honestly, I drive myself and everyone around me (i.e. the hub) crazy! I think I'm a horrible person, a horrible wife, a horrible Mother, a horrible friend. The reality is, I'm only normal. Wow-who woulda thunk...me...NORMAL.
Whoa!
I sometimes feel so bogged down by the "woe is me" syndrome that I forget I'm not the only woman in the world who has endured struggles and who hates herself from time to time. I'm just one of so many beautiful souls out there trying to figure out life as it goes.
I envy the honesty, I envy the way they can come out and say the things that eat me up. But my goal from now on is to no longer envy but to join the ranks of the brutally honest and come out and just say it-damn it. Arghh, does this mean I need to break down my carefully built wall? I guess so.
Let the exorcism begin.
Not today though.
I have a wide variety of Mommy-bloggers who I love to read. They bring inspiration and clarity sometimes when I feel like I need it the most. It's like a therapy session without breaking the bank, it's a friendship without any effort, it's an understanding without the judgement. I love the world of blogging.
I have read so many blogs about lives torn apart and rebuilt by a number of different things. The thing I love is the pure honesty with which some woman write, they say things "out loud" that I can only think. It seems sometimes I am so afraid to say how I feel out loud that instead I just internalise it and I drive myself crazy. Well honestly, I drive myself and everyone around me (i.e. the hub) crazy! I think I'm a horrible person, a horrible wife, a horrible Mother, a horrible friend. The reality is, I'm only normal. Wow-who woulda thunk...me...NORMAL.
Whoa!
I sometimes feel so bogged down by the "woe is me" syndrome that I forget I'm not the only woman in the world who has endured struggles and who hates herself from time to time. I'm just one of so many beautiful souls out there trying to figure out life as it goes.
I envy the honesty, I envy the way they can come out and say the things that eat me up. But my goal from now on is to no longer envy but to join the ranks of the brutally honest and come out and just say it-damn it. Arghh, does this mean I need to break down my carefully built wall? I guess so.
Let the exorcism begin.
Not today though.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Debbie Downer Alert!!!!
So I have this insane thing about having to come into work in the morning and open my internet to CNN. I read every story I can, including all the ones that send utter horror waves through my body to the core of my soul. I don't know why I read some of the stuff I do. Clearly I'm not emotionally equipped to deal with most of it. I'll open a story, read it and then sit and sob at my desk. Most times these are the stories about children being hurt or killed. I then will sit and stare at my screen with pictures of my babies on it and cry some more while I think about how utterly horrible it would be if something happened to one of them.
Last night I was watching Hopkins...again...probably shouldn't be watching that either. But there was a story on there about a little 9 year old who drowned at a birthday party, and while she wasn't dead so-to-speak, she was brain-dead and her parents were faced with the decision of having to turn off her life support. I can't think how hard that would be. In reality though, my parents went through that with me. I never realised the extent of the trauma my illness brought to them, I never gave them enough credit for the incredible strength they found during that time. Being a Mom, now I realise how hard that time must have been for them. I cannot imagine the desperation of knowing that your child is gone...forever!
After Skylar's choking incident I'm still a mess. Yesterday I was driving to pick them up from daycare and something got me thinking back to that moment and I felt the panic rushing through my body, the panic that consumes me to where I can hardly breath and almost have to stop the car to slap myself and get a grip. This will haunt me forever. I cannot for one minute imagine how I would find strength to wake up the next day if something awful happened to one of my kids. I'm sure like so many parents, you find that strength, and I applaud those people, I applaud that incredible will to go on despite the hurt that they have to carry every day.
We know a family who is going through so much right now. Their little boy had a choking accident at daycare and stopped breathing for 3 to 5 minutes. He died at the daycare but was revived by the paramedics, he then died two other times and revived. His parents were told he would be in a permanent vegetative state for the rest of his life, but over the last three years he has made remarkable progress, while he will never heal completely he is a bright beautiful light. I was looking at his care page and the photo’s, his little sister by his side smiling and hugging him in so many of those. What an incredible family, they have been through so much and they fight every day for him. He is surrounded by angels who love him so much. I had to stop reading (imagine that), too much for me to handle. It’s strange how I never have recollection of my time spent with a trach fighting for my life, but looking at him, reading his story is more than I can take, it’s too painful. I’ll say it again-what an incredible family, they live with so much hope and courage and love.
Whoa! A heavy load for the day. What a post to mark my three week hiatus from writing. I've just not felt the urge in the last couple weeks. It's either I have too much to say and can't get it all out or I feel like I have nothing to say at all. So has been the last month for me. Sometimes life is harder to digest than other times.
It's been an incredible month though in the lives of the little people who keep me smiling. Ethan is finally walking and talks a lot more now. Skylar is beautiful as always, she has the gentlest, sweetest nature and is so loving. I soak up all the love she throws at me. I feel so guilty sometimes for being frustrated with aspects of my life, I look around and I'm a lucky girl. I feel guilty when I cry for me. I wonder if I have anything to cry about, and how much should I expect, how frustrated do I need to feel...and do I really need to be so hard on myself all the time?
It's been a long, strange, beautiful month.Now I need to pull my head out my ass and focus again. Focus on the good and forgive, and love and dream and get back to being funny instead of so damn serious. Life is beautiful isn’t it. I read CNN and I’m horrified at the things people do to each other but in the same breath I read about AJ and I’m full of hope again.
Last night I was watching Hopkins...again...probably shouldn't be watching that either. But there was a story on there about a little 9 year old who drowned at a birthday party, and while she wasn't dead so-to-speak, she was brain-dead and her parents were faced with the decision of having to turn off her life support. I can't think how hard that would be. In reality though, my parents went through that with me. I never realised the extent of the trauma my illness brought to them, I never gave them enough credit for the incredible strength they found during that time. Being a Mom, now I realise how hard that time must have been for them. I cannot imagine the desperation of knowing that your child is gone...forever!
After Skylar's choking incident I'm still a mess. Yesterday I was driving to pick them up from daycare and something got me thinking back to that moment and I felt the panic rushing through my body, the panic that consumes me to where I can hardly breath and almost have to stop the car to slap myself and get a grip. This will haunt me forever. I cannot for one minute imagine how I would find strength to wake up the next day if something awful happened to one of my kids. I'm sure like so many parents, you find that strength, and I applaud those people, I applaud that incredible will to go on despite the hurt that they have to carry every day.
We know a family who is going through so much right now. Their little boy had a choking accident at daycare and stopped breathing for 3 to 5 minutes. He died at the daycare but was revived by the paramedics, he then died two other times and revived. His parents were told he would be in a permanent vegetative state for the rest of his life, but over the last three years he has made remarkable progress, while he will never heal completely he is a bright beautiful light. I was looking at his care page and the photo’s, his little sister by his side smiling and hugging him in so many of those. What an incredible family, they have been through so much and they fight every day for him. He is surrounded by angels who love him so much. I had to stop reading (imagine that), too much for me to handle. It’s strange how I never have recollection of my time spent with a trach fighting for my life, but looking at him, reading his story is more than I can take, it’s too painful. I’ll say it again-what an incredible family, they live with so much hope and courage and love.
Whoa! A heavy load for the day. What a post to mark my three week hiatus from writing. I've just not felt the urge in the last couple weeks. It's either I have too much to say and can't get it all out or I feel like I have nothing to say at all. So has been the last month for me. Sometimes life is harder to digest than other times.
It's been an incredible month though in the lives of the little people who keep me smiling. Ethan is finally walking and talks a lot more now. Skylar is beautiful as always, she has the gentlest, sweetest nature and is so loving. I soak up all the love she throws at me. I feel so guilty sometimes for being frustrated with aspects of my life, I look around and I'm a lucky girl. I feel guilty when I cry for me. I wonder if I have anything to cry about, and how much should I expect, how frustrated do I need to feel...and do I really need to be so hard on myself all the time?
It's been a long, strange, beautiful month.Now I need to pull my head out my ass and focus again. Focus on the good and forgive, and love and dream and get back to being funny instead of so damn serious. Life is beautiful isn’t it. I read CNN and I’m horrified at the things people do to each other but in the same breath I read about AJ and I’m full of hope again.
Monday, July 7, 2008
B-I-N-G-O
And Bingo was his name-O! I have this ridiculous song stuck in my head thanks to Skylars new found singing talents and her incessant need to hum a tune. Of all the songs...seriously? Even Yankee Doodle would be a better choice at this point.
So my little girl is now a whopping three years old. This is a bitter sweet process, watching them grow and learn and change. I yearn for the days when I could hold her tiny little body close and feel her nuzzle into my neck, the way Ethan still does, but at the same time I love all the new things I get to experience with her. I love the big hugs and kisses that she is capable of now, the (endless) conversations about everything. She is so observant, smart and funny...she's just like me...okay okay, so she's smarter, funnier and way more observant. Geesh, always trying to fish for one aren't I? She is just at an age where she glows, that sweet, innocent, childhood glow. I bask in it, I drink it in and I wonder when the hell I ended up with wrinkles. Whoa, sorry, way off topic.
Ethan is a climbing fool these days, climbs into, onto and around E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. The boy has no fear...well that's not entirely true. He is, as we have discovered, afraid of the "horsie ride" at King Soopers. (Sorry Son, I have to tell). He will go down a death-defying six foot drop of a slide without batting an eyelid, but will not trot gently on a stationery horse. Perhaps the horse ride is not manly enough for his tastes and thus screams bloody-murder in protest of it. That's it isn't it? That's our story and we are sticking with it.
July 4th-the essence of Summer. Fireworks and BBQ's. Screaming, over-tired kids.
And BINGO was his name-O!
So my little girl is now a whopping three years old. This is a bitter sweet process, watching them grow and learn and change. I yearn for the days when I could hold her tiny little body close and feel her nuzzle into my neck, the way Ethan still does, but at the same time I love all the new things I get to experience with her. I love the big hugs and kisses that she is capable of now, the (endless) conversations about everything. She is so observant, smart and funny...she's just like me...okay okay, so she's smarter, funnier and way more observant. Geesh, always trying to fish for one aren't I? She is just at an age where she glows, that sweet, innocent, childhood glow. I bask in it, I drink it in and I wonder when the hell I ended up with wrinkles. Whoa, sorry, way off topic.
Ethan is a climbing fool these days, climbs into, onto and around E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. The boy has no fear...well that's not entirely true. He is, as we have discovered, afraid of the "horsie ride" at King Soopers. (Sorry Son, I have to tell). He will go down a death-defying six foot drop of a slide without batting an eyelid, but will not trot gently on a stationery horse. Perhaps the horse ride is not manly enough for his tastes and thus screams bloody-murder in protest of it. That's it isn't it? That's our story and we are sticking with it.
July 4th-the essence of Summer. Fireworks and BBQ's. Screaming, over-tired kids.
And BINGO was his name-O!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Culture Shock
As a child growing up in South Africa all I ever knew was what was around me. I watched how other Mothers (including my own) mothered their kids, I tried to take it all in and get all the tips I could for one day when I would have bambinos of my own. The problem is this, that was there, and now I am here. So, often times I find myself immersed in a culture of Moms who do things so completely differently than I am used to. Not bad different...just different different. Know what I mean? Or am I sounding a little crazy right now?
It's hard to explain this day to day confusion that I experience. I grew up in a simple way, on a farm, barefoot, chasing chickens, with no running hot water and an out-house for a loo (toilet) for the first part of my life and in a small (horribly small) town for the rest. There are so many times I wonder if my way of parenting my kids is the right way, or the wrong way or the OH MY GOD way. I think some of my confusion is caused by the parenting culture shock that I run into. I remember as a kid, and I don't remember a lot, but I do remember childhood being simple, nothing fancy, just plain dirty old fashioned fun. Being a kid now seems so complicated. I worry that I'm not equipped to deal with it, I worry that I don't know enough to identify the needs of my kids in this cultural context. I worry that since I can't identify them that I pass that onto them and leave them feeling on the outside too. It's very confusing. I try very hard, trust me, but there are times I just don't get it and other times that I just point-blank refuse to do it a certain way.
It's a toughie! Life is complex isn't it? And besides, I needed something to worry about today, so here I am…worried that I suck as a Mother in the culture I choose to live.
It's hard to explain this day to day confusion that I experience. I grew up in a simple way, on a farm, barefoot, chasing chickens, with no running hot water and an out-house for a loo (toilet) for the first part of my life and in a small (horribly small) town for the rest. There are so many times I wonder if my way of parenting my kids is the right way, or the wrong way or the OH MY GOD way. I think some of my confusion is caused by the parenting culture shock that I run into. I remember as a kid, and I don't remember a lot, but I do remember childhood being simple, nothing fancy, just plain dirty old fashioned fun. Being a kid now seems so complicated. I worry that I'm not equipped to deal with it, I worry that I don't know enough to identify the needs of my kids in this cultural context. I worry that since I can't identify them that I pass that onto them and leave them feeling on the outside too. It's very confusing. I try very hard, trust me, but there are times I just don't get it and other times that I just point-blank refuse to do it a certain way.
It's a toughie! Life is complex isn't it? And besides, I needed something to worry about today, so here I am…worried that I suck as a Mother in the culture I choose to live.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Birthday Party...Round Two!
So yes, birthday fever is back and once again I find myself in the throws of party planning. Only this time it's for 14 kids and all their parents. (I say this as I am hyper-ventilating into a brown paper bag with one hand and wiping the sweat from my brow with the other.) Yes, I know, I am not one for big parties that are over-the-top usually, but this one, well it's not over the top it's just a lot of kids. We will be having Skylar's third birthday party at Pump It Up on Friday. It's a large indoor inflatable party place. I think. I've never been, only heard what a blast it is. The bonus is, all the parents get to play too, for free! So the venue itself is taken care of, I have no worries about set up or clean up which is great, but what has me sweating and breathing like I'm in labor is feeding everyone. I'm making Skylar a ladybug cake for her birthday but since I have so many people to feed I'm thinking now I need to make two since I cannot find a 14'round cake pan to make one giant ladybug. I have cut-out cookies to make and two cakes. It doesn't sound that daunting, but really it is. I also have the little boxes that I'm putting together to send home with the kids. I got plain white boxes that Skylar painted and then I'm going to fill them with some candy and attach a note saying "thanks for coming". It's simple enough, but it all takes time.
Why do I do this to myself you might ask? Well the answer is simple. I thrive on it, without stress I am nothing. Without taking on more than I can chew most the time, I would be bored and unchallenged. It's the thrill of crunch time, and then looking back and thinking, phew...am I super woman or what? It's not the end result but the process that thrills me. It's sad...but true! I love to be busy and I love to be creative and if I can be busy being creative I'm in my element. Now, I don't doubt I'll cry, I'll be in a bad mood for a while, I'll feel completely overwhelmed, I'll get little sleep, I'll fight with Hub and who knows I may not even be able to pull off the perfect cake, but in the end it will all be worth it.
My little girl is turning three and she is going to celebrate with all her friends. It’s going to be so much fun I can’t wait.
Why do I do this to myself you might ask? Well the answer is simple. I thrive on it, without stress I am nothing. Without taking on more than I can chew most the time, I would be bored and unchallenged. It's the thrill of crunch time, and then looking back and thinking, phew...am I super woman or what? It's not the end result but the process that thrills me. It's sad...but true! I love to be busy and I love to be creative and if I can be busy being creative I'm in my element. Now, I don't doubt I'll cry, I'll be in a bad mood for a while, I'll feel completely overwhelmed, I'll get little sleep, I'll fight with Hub and who knows I may not even be able to pull off the perfect cake, but in the end it will all be worth it.
My little girl is turning three and she is going to celebrate with all her friends. It’s going to be so much fun I can’t wait.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Go Green
Okay so I know that the theme of everyday living is to "Go Green". I get it. I do my part and like to think that I am environmentally aware. But here is something I ran across this weekend that just killed me.
Yesterday at the grocery store, I see a woman wearing a shirt that says "Go global buy local" or something to that effect. She is also toting her own environmentally friendly carry bags to put her (no doubt) organic purchases into. So here I am thinking, wow, a person who goes the distance...good for her. *golf clap* I even feel a surge of guilt for still using the plastic bags to cart my groceries home in. Which by the way, holy smokes are things expensive! Moving right along though...
As we leave the store, she follows shortly behind. I almost expect her to jump on her bicycle and ride her hippie-self home. Well what follows is what grates me to my core. She gets in her car and lights a cigarette, toddler seat in the back of the car, diapers and organics in the trunk. Okay, so let me rewind a minute...gets in the car and lights a cigarette...is it just me or does her holier-than-thou-I-save-the-world-with-my-organic-food-and-recyled-material-bags glow just go right in the shitter? It's just me isn't it?
Anyhoo, the soap box is here and on it I shall stand. So with that said, are you freaking kidding me? Save the world but kill yourself and your kid with your cigarette smoke. Am I missing something?
Yesterday at the grocery store, I see a woman wearing a shirt that says "Go global buy local" or something to that effect. She is also toting her own environmentally friendly carry bags to put her (no doubt) organic purchases into. So here I am thinking, wow, a person who goes the distance...good for her. *golf clap* I even feel a surge of guilt for still using the plastic bags to cart my groceries home in. Which by the way, holy smokes are things expensive! Moving right along though...
As we leave the store, she follows shortly behind. I almost expect her to jump on her bicycle and ride her hippie-self home. Well what follows is what grates me to my core. She gets in her car and lights a cigarette, toddler seat in the back of the car, diapers and organics in the trunk. Okay, so let me rewind a minute...gets in the car and lights a cigarette...is it just me or does her holier-than-thou-I-save-the-world-with-my-organic-food-and-recyled-material-bags glow just go right in the shitter? It's just me isn't it?
Anyhoo, the soap box is here and on it I shall stand. So with that said, are you freaking kidding me? Save the world but kill yourself and your kid with your cigarette smoke. Am I missing something?
Monday, June 9, 2008
Are you Serious?
Seems like everyday Skylar will say something new, in a bigger sentence, with a better understanding of how and when to use certain words. Here are a few examples:
At the table eating dinner: Brian "Skylar you need to eat your food". Skylar (with a look that could stop a truck) "Are you serious?"
Also at the table eating dinner: Skylar "I like this Mommy, it's delicious!"
Somtimes it's hard to imagine such grown up things coming from such a pint sized little person. Cracks me up and makes me laugh so hard, of course I have to be discreet about it if I’m reprimanding her for saying what she just said.
So onto something that completely eats me alive when I see it, the child harness, i.e. LEASH! At the baseball game on Saturday there was a child who was probably about 3 or 4'ish being walked around by his, oh say 6 or 7'ish, year old brother. The younger one on a leash. Okay so the one child walks the other child around...and where might I ask are the parents. Oh yeah, that's right, in the stands drinking beer while Peter takes care of Paul by walking him around the stadium on a dog leash. I don't understand the "harness", I say this time and time again and once in a while I have someone who thinks they aren't a bad idea and they back their argument up with, "well it's better than letting your kids run off and get lost". To those people I have this to say: Firstly, try discipline, it works wonders. Secondly, explain to your child that running off isn't something they should be doing, if your kid is that out of control in a public area then perhaps for his safety you are better off leaving him home with a babysitter. Thirdly, if you can hold a leash, can you maybe hold his hand? I don't get it, HOLD THE CHILDS HAND people. It's a simple old fashioned way of keeping your kids at your side. Geesh!!!
And I'm still not done...well I'm done bitching about parents who leash their kids like dogs, but I'm not done bitching! Back to the ballgame. Ethan was getting cranky in our cramped seats so I decided to take a walk with Ethan, Skylar and my friend over to the playground area so the kids could play for a bit. I propped Ethan up on the bars and let him walk around holding onto the bars while I watched him and then Skylar was on the slides and such under the watchful eye of Stephanie. Ethan fell over trying to make the switch from the one set of bars to the next and banged his head, so I picked him up and went over to watch Skylar on the slide. You have to bear in mind that there are a huge amount of kids playing in this one area and really it's all about taking turns. Well there are kids up there literally elbowing other kids out of the way and pushing their way to the front of the line. Again...HELLO...where are the parents to make these kids stand in line and wait their turn? One kid pushed Skylar and I was ready to run up there and personally kick his ass. I know, I know, it's a little unusual to feel so angry toward a 4 year old but nobody, but nobody puts my baby in the corner.
Sorry about the cheesy Dirty dancing reference, I had to!
And again, not done yet. So I was at the park riding Skylar around on my bike and there are about 5 boys playing right on the pathway, as I'm coming up on them I start yelling "watch out watch out" so they don't run in front of me and kill all of us. As I get by them, the one kid starts mocking me "watch out watch out". So since I'm a grown up and I need to behave accordingly, I yell back "do you want me to come back and run you over?" Again...I know it's a little harsh, but yikes, where are parents in public situations? Are they not watching their kids, do they not teach their kids simple things. Perhaps they could leash their kids so they don’t run out in front of the bikers, now there is an idea! And what kind of a parent does it take to raise a child who has the nerve to mock another adult? I know that sometimes kids turn out the way they do in spite of the parents efforts, but from one weekend I've come to the conclusion that while this may be true at times, it's more often than not that kids end up the way the do because parents are oblivious, they pay no attention and really don't show their kids the right way to behave.
I'm not claiming to be perfect in any way, but I do know that I pay plenty of attention to my children and I raise them to be respectful of themselves and other people. That's all it takes to make the world a better place, just a little respect.
At the table eating dinner: Brian "Skylar you need to eat your food". Skylar (with a look that could stop a truck) "Are you serious?"
Also at the table eating dinner: Skylar "I like this Mommy, it's delicious!"
Somtimes it's hard to imagine such grown up things coming from such a pint sized little person. Cracks me up and makes me laugh so hard, of course I have to be discreet about it if I’m reprimanding her for saying what she just said.
So onto something that completely eats me alive when I see it, the child harness, i.e. LEASH! At the baseball game on Saturday there was a child who was probably about 3 or 4'ish being walked around by his, oh say 6 or 7'ish, year old brother. The younger one on a leash. Okay so the one child walks the other child around...and where might I ask are the parents. Oh yeah, that's right, in the stands drinking beer while Peter takes care of Paul by walking him around the stadium on a dog leash. I don't understand the "harness", I say this time and time again and once in a while I have someone who thinks they aren't a bad idea and they back their argument up with, "well it's better than letting your kids run off and get lost". To those people I have this to say: Firstly, try discipline, it works wonders. Secondly, explain to your child that running off isn't something they should be doing, if your kid is that out of control in a public area then perhaps for his safety you are better off leaving him home with a babysitter. Thirdly, if you can hold a leash, can you maybe hold his hand? I don't get it, HOLD THE CHILDS HAND people. It's a simple old fashioned way of keeping your kids at your side. Geesh!!!
And I'm still not done...well I'm done bitching about parents who leash their kids like dogs, but I'm not done bitching! Back to the ballgame. Ethan was getting cranky in our cramped seats so I decided to take a walk with Ethan, Skylar and my friend over to the playground area so the kids could play for a bit. I propped Ethan up on the bars and let him walk around holding onto the bars while I watched him and then Skylar was on the slides and such under the watchful eye of Stephanie. Ethan fell over trying to make the switch from the one set of bars to the next and banged his head, so I picked him up and went over to watch Skylar on the slide. You have to bear in mind that there are a huge amount of kids playing in this one area and really it's all about taking turns. Well there are kids up there literally elbowing other kids out of the way and pushing their way to the front of the line. Again...HELLO...where are the parents to make these kids stand in line and wait their turn? One kid pushed Skylar and I was ready to run up there and personally kick his ass. I know, I know, it's a little unusual to feel so angry toward a 4 year old but nobody, but nobody puts my baby in the corner.
Sorry about the cheesy Dirty dancing reference, I had to!
And again, not done yet. So I was at the park riding Skylar around on my bike and there are about 5 boys playing right on the pathway, as I'm coming up on them I start yelling "watch out watch out" so they don't run in front of me and kill all of us. As I get by them, the one kid starts mocking me "watch out watch out". So since I'm a grown up and I need to behave accordingly, I yell back "do you want me to come back and run you over?" Again...I know it's a little harsh, but yikes, where are parents in public situations? Are they not watching their kids, do they not teach their kids simple things. Perhaps they could leash their kids so they don’t run out in front of the bikers, now there is an idea! And what kind of a parent does it take to raise a child who has the nerve to mock another adult? I know that sometimes kids turn out the way they do in spite of the parents efforts, but from one weekend I've come to the conclusion that while this may be true at times, it's more often than not that kids end up the way the do because parents are oblivious, they pay no attention and really don't show their kids the right way to behave.
I'm not claiming to be perfect in any way, but I do know that I pay plenty of attention to my children and I raise them to be respectful of themselves and other people. That's all it takes to make the world a better place, just a little respect.
Friday, May 30, 2008
One Terrifying Moment
Well last week I signed off my blog with a little thing about how blessed I am and how grateful I am for everything, and this week I want to start my blog by reiterating how blessed I really do feel.
A week ago today we were at a restaurant for dinner with friends and we were seated at a booth. I was standing up right next to the edge holding Ethan and the hub was one person deep in the seating arrangement. All of a sudden out of nowhere I hear a thump and I turn around to see Skylar laying face down on the hard concrete floor. I handed Ethan off and stood her up to look at her, she seemed to sway ever so slightly. At this point I panicked and picked her up and ran outside where I sat and held her and asked her questions to find out if she was disorientated or not. She was shook up but otherwise answered all my questions just fine. She of course was crying so hard, partly I believe because she got a huge fright.
We left and got home 15 minutes after the fall, walked into the kitchen and she suddenly started to throw up all over the place. She threw up five or six times and then I noticed she was still gagging but nothing was coming. OMG, she was choking. I did the Heimlich, nothing, I smacked her on the back some more, nothing again. At this point she started to turn blue, I screamed to hub to call 911. I laid her out on our patio and then, well truly I don't recall the exact process too well, but she went from blue to the blue white, her eyes rolled back in her head, her jaw was tight and she stopped breathing. I put my mouth over hers and sucked as hard as I could to try and dislodge (what turned out to be pizza dough) what was in her throat. I managed somehow to get it out, and when I did, I continued CPR and mouth-to-mouth and all of a sudden, she was back, crying. I was so cold and so desperate in those moments. My little girl, my little baby girl, lifeless and limp! My world has never seemed to stand still and move so fast all at the same exact time. I was terrified out of my mind. I had her breathing and okay by the time the paramedics and fire dept and police arrived. I tried to stand up and my legs were so weak, I could barely move a limb. Shock really set in at that point. Just writing this makes my terrified all over again, remembering her face, her colour. I cannot imagine what life would have been had this gone the other way. So today, and everyday, I am so blessed for these lives that are a part of mine, for these beautiful babies who are mine to love and to cherish. Skylar was taken to the ER in the ambulance and was checked out, she had no concussion, and was just fine. She is my little angel, I don't want to have to think about breathing without her. Phew! Heavy stuff...but truly, what an amazing end to a horrible, horrible moment in our lives.
I believe Ethan is finally communicating with me. When asked if he wants this, or that, he nods and says something that vaguely resembles "yeah" or "no" and shakes his head. "Ethan you want squash?" "No" (shake shake)..."do you want pudding?" "Yeah" (nod nod. Could this boy get any cuter?? Still no walking but he's working up to it. Cruising around that furniture like it aint no thang.
Today is Friday, oh thank the heavens. I hope it's a weekend full of fun things to do, things other than the laundry and the dishes and the blah blah blah cleaning stuff. Ahh Summer...you gotta love those warm days, ice cream and the sun-kissed cheeks to kiss goodnight.
A week ago today we were at a restaurant for dinner with friends and we were seated at a booth. I was standing up right next to the edge holding Ethan and the hub was one person deep in the seating arrangement. All of a sudden out of nowhere I hear a thump and I turn around to see Skylar laying face down on the hard concrete floor. I handed Ethan off and stood her up to look at her, she seemed to sway ever so slightly. At this point I panicked and picked her up and ran outside where I sat and held her and asked her questions to find out if she was disorientated or not. She was shook up but otherwise answered all my questions just fine. She of course was crying so hard, partly I believe because she got a huge fright.
We left and got home 15 minutes after the fall, walked into the kitchen and she suddenly started to throw up all over the place. She threw up five or six times and then I noticed she was still gagging but nothing was coming. OMG, she was choking. I did the Heimlich, nothing, I smacked her on the back some more, nothing again. At this point she started to turn blue, I screamed to hub to call 911. I laid her out on our patio and then, well truly I don't recall the exact process too well, but she went from blue to the blue white, her eyes rolled back in her head, her jaw was tight and she stopped breathing. I put my mouth over hers and sucked as hard as I could to try and dislodge (what turned out to be pizza dough) what was in her throat. I managed somehow to get it out, and when I did, I continued CPR and mouth-to-mouth and all of a sudden, she was back, crying. I was so cold and so desperate in those moments. My little girl, my little baby girl, lifeless and limp! My world has never seemed to stand still and move so fast all at the same exact time. I was terrified out of my mind. I had her breathing and okay by the time the paramedics and fire dept and police arrived. I tried to stand up and my legs were so weak, I could barely move a limb. Shock really set in at that point. Just writing this makes my terrified all over again, remembering her face, her colour. I cannot imagine what life would have been had this gone the other way. So today, and everyday, I am so blessed for these lives that are a part of mine, for these beautiful babies who are mine to love and to cherish. Skylar was taken to the ER in the ambulance and was checked out, she had no concussion, and was just fine. She is my little angel, I don't want to have to think about breathing without her. Phew! Heavy stuff...but truly, what an amazing end to a horrible, horrible moment in our lives.
I believe Ethan is finally communicating with me. When asked if he wants this, or that, he nods and says something that vaguely resembles "yeah" or "no" and shakes his head. "Ethan you want squash?" "No" (shake shake)..."do you want pudding?" "Yeah" (nod nod. Could this boy get any cuter?? Still no walking but he's working up to it. Cruising around that furniture like it aint no thang.
Today is Friday, oh thank the heavens. I hope it's a weekend full of fun things to do, things other than the laundry and the dishes and the blah blah blah cleaning stuff. Ahh Summer...you gotta love those warm days, ice cream and the sun-kissed cheeks to kiss goodnight.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Summer Joys
Ahh, sweet, glorious, happy Friday! The weekend is upon us and what makes it even sweeter, is not the Paula Deen super-sweet butter cake pieces I just gobbled down, but the fact that it's a long weekend. Whoot Whoot. Yes folks a nice long, beautiful weekend.
So my first phone call of the day: Gentleman: "Hi Leigh, Happy Friday!" Me: "Thanks, you too", after some more back and forth conversation, Me: "so do you have access to your email today?" Gentleman: "Yes I might but right now I'm at the beach" (kids screaming Daddy Daddy in the background). Me: "Did you have to rub it in?" Gentleman: "Ha ha ha". Okay, so no seriously...did you have to rub it in? I'm here holed up in my cubicle conducting business with him while he is on the beach playing with his kids. *SIGH*
So snuggle time in Skylars bed is interesting these days. She recalls her day and tells me stories about the kids and what they did and who bit who and what not. It's enlightening. I'm sure some of the stories are embellished a little, but hey, it's okay. Makes for a good story, it's like my bedtime story.
Ethan, bless his little heart, is sleeping so much better at night, for long stretches at a time. He even stays in his crib till about 5am some mornings. I love it, although it hasn't made me feel less tired. So with that said I will continue my gripe of exhaustion and woe-is-me'ness.
Life is good. I am so grateful for my family, my home, my life. With watching so much horror unfold on CNN over the past month it really is something to look around and say, you know what, I'm blessed.
So my first phone call of the day: Gentleman: "Hi Leigh, Happy Friday!" Me: "Thanks, you too", after some more back and forth conversation, Me: "so do you have access to your email today?" Gentleman: "Yes I might but right now I'm at the beach" (kids screaming Daddy Daddy in the background). Me: "Did you have to rub it in?" Gentleman: "Ha ha ha". Okay, so no seriously...did you have to rub it in? I'm here holed up in my cubicle conducting business with him while he is on the beach playing with his kids. *SIGH*
So snuggle time in Skylars bed is interesting these days. She recalls her day and tells me stories about the kids and what they did and who bit who and what not. It's enlightening. I'm sure some of the stories are embellished a little, but hey, it's okay. Makes for a good story, it's like my bedtime story.
Ethan, bless his little heart, is sleeping so much better at night, for long stretches at a time. He even stays in his crib till about 5am some mornings. I love it, although it hasn't made me feel less tired. So with that said I will continue my gripe of exhaustion and woe-is-me'ness.
Life is good. I am so grateful for my family, my home, my life. With watching so much horror unfold on CNN over the past month it really is something to look around and say, you know what, I'm blessed.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Screw Ironman...what about Iron Mom?
3:30pm: Yesterday, the work day is done and I head out to collect the kids.
4:00pm: I pick my munchkins up from daycare and we head home.
4:15pm: I start making dinner, a homemade, from scratch, crust and all (okay, okay so I cheated on the crust and bought pre-made pastry, so what??) chicken pot-pie. Skylar has her chair pulled up to the counter and she is helping me put stuff into things. Ethan is trying to chew on some celery, hmmm...yummy huh Buddy? Dogs are at my feet like vultures waiting for morsels to drop.
4:30pm: Dinner is making nice progress on the stove, kids are playing, Ethan with his cars on the floor, Skylar is painting. I bought her some new paintbrushes while I was out at the store yesterday and without thinking I announce when we are home "Look what Mommy got you today!" Of course she is going to want to paint, DUH! So yes, she was painting and making a huge mess, Ethan kept crawling across the paper so he was a disaster covered from top to toe in paint.
5:00pm: Dinner is done and waiting to go into the oven by 5:30 to be ready by 6pm
5:05pm: Have to vacuum, Ethan is scared of the noise and cries every time I disappear from view so we make a game of peek-a-boo out of it. He loves this and is laughing his silly little head off. Skylar, well I'm not sure what Skylar is doing. Painting the dog, my walls and perhaps some other things I'm sure.
5:30pm Time to clean up, scrub the floor, the kids, clean up the paint, blah blah blah, make the bed that hubby decided to leave unmade this morning. Change a diaper, take Skylar to pee.
6:00pm: "Honey I'm home!!!" In walks the hub, house is clean, kids are clean, a homemade (homemade people...need I say this again!) chicken potpie in the oven, the wonderful aroma's wafting through the air.
Now I tell you this story in great time-lined detail because, well because I am f******* amazing that's why. All Moms’ are amazing. We have ten arms, ten legs and can do anything and everything all at the same time, and not only that but all of our chores have a twist to include imaginative play and quality time with our kids. Give a man a pot and a kid at the same time and his whole system shuts down. Now I'm not saying there aren't men out there who are capable and do all of the wonderful things that Mothers do but...well maybe I am!
"What honey? You made dinner? And bathed the kids? Wow, you cleaned the house and even scrubbed the toilet!" One day folks, one day these words will leave my mouth, but for now, they along with Johnny Depp, remain but a mere fantasy.
4:00pm: I pick my munchkins up from daycare and we head home.
4:15pm: I start making dinner, a homemade, from scratch, crust and all (okay, okay so I cheated on the crust and bought pre-made pastry, so what??) chicken pot-pie. Skylar has her chair pulled up to the counter and she is helping me put stuff into things. Ethan is trying to chew on some celery, hmmm...yummy huh Buddy? Dogs are at my feet like vultures waiting for morsels to drop.
4:30pm: Dinner is making nice progress on the stove, kids are playing, Ethan with his cars on the floor, Skylar is painting. I bought her some new paintbrushes while I was out at the store yesterday and without thinking I announce when we are home "Look what Mommy got you today!" Of course she is going to want to paint, DUH! So yes, she was painting and making a huge mess, Ethan kept crawling across the paper so he was a disaster covered from top to toe in paint.
5:00pm: Dinner is done and waiting to go into the oven by 5:30 to be ready by 6pm
5:05pm: Have to vacuum, Ethan is scared of the noise and cries every time I disappear from view so we make a game of peek-a-boo out of it. He loves this and is laughing his silly little head off. Skylar, well I'm not sure what Skylar is doing. Painting the dog, my walls and perhaps some other things I'm sure.
5:30pm Time to clean up, scrub the floor, the kids, clean up the paint, blah blah blah, make the bed that hubby decided to leave unmade this morning. Change a diaper, take Skylar to pee.
6:00pm: "Honey I'm home!!!" In walks the hub, house is clean, kids are clean, a homemade (homemade people...need I say this again!) chicken potpie in the oven, the wonderful aroma's wafting through the air.
Now I tell you this story in great time-lined detail because, well because I am f******* amazing that's why. All Moms’ are amazing. We have ten arms, ten legs and can do anything and everything all at the same time, and not only that but all of our chores have a twist to include imaginative play and quality time with our kids. Give a man a pot and a kid at the same time and his whole system shuts down. Now I'm not saying there aren't men out there who are capable and do all of the wonderful things that Mothers do but...well maybe I am!
"What honey? You made dinner? And bathed the kids? Wow, you cleaned the house and even scrubbed the toilet!" One day folks, one day these words will leave my mouth, but for now, they along with Johnny Depp, remain but a mere fantasy.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Life, Death and Everything in Between
Sounds a little somber I know, but that's the mood today. Yesterday was a hard day for me, I'm not entirely sure why but my Mom was on my mind a lot yesterday. I guess now that I am a Mother with these two small people who rely on me for everything, I just cannot imagine being gone from them in the blink of an eye. I have always had bad thoughts right before I fall asleep at night, some induce panic attacks others set off a marathon of runs into the kids’ room to check on them. Whatever the beginning of the thoughts and whatever the outcome is, it happens all the time. I think I've realized that is has to do with some pretty significant events in my life. Well for one, waking up paralyzed just one day clear out of the blue, and for two waking up one morning and two hours later she was gone from my life forever. Well physically that is. My Mom is always on my mind and she will forever be a part of my life, a part of who I am and a part of the way I teach my kids and raise them.
Some of the process, the life, the death, the full circle thing, doesn't always seem fair does it? My fear these days is not so much dying, but dying and not being remembered. Especially by the two little people I gave life to. I try each day to bond more deeply with them, to try and establish things between us that are ours, little things, like things we might say to each other, or things that we do together. It's as if I spend every day trying to make a mark on their lives so that if something were to happen to me that they will have something to remember me by. It's crazy I know it is. I'm just afraid, I'm afraid that they will forever be left with the same questions that I continue to have today well into my adult life. The pain never goes away and I'm not sure it ever gets any easier either.
Speaking of things we do together, Skylar has now taken to moving the "snuggle time" from my bed to hers. So at night I climb into her tiny little toddler bed with her and we snuggle. I love it, I feel so close to her, she cozies into me and I can feel her relax. Love truly is a beautiful thing. To feel loved and to be able to love back is the most incredible human emotion in my opinion.
Well my little man had his birthday party, it was a huge success. My cake turned out wonderfully and I'm really chuffed with myself (for those of you who are wondering what "chuffed" means, it's a South African slang term we use which means "pleased"). Things went well, he loved his cake and while I didn't get to watch him eat most of it, I know he loved the icing and at one point when it was all gone he cried until someone gave him some more. That little guy...he is just so damn cute! He got very spoilt and loves all his new toys, so too does his Sister.
I cannot believe Ethan will be one tomorrow, it's kind of a sad day for me. I know that I am done having kids, or should I say, the hub is done having kids, so it's as if I'll never get to live these moments again. This is it, he's my last baby and he's getting big too fast.
Skylar and Ethan spent the day with G and G Robl on Monday instead of going to daycare, Grandpa and Skylar came to pick me up from work and she had a red, dirty face from playing outside. She was the picture of childhood. I love it.
Some of the process, the life, the death, the full circle thing, doesn't always seem fair does it? My fear these days is not so much dying, but dying and not being remembered. Especially by the two little people I gave life to. I try each day to bond more deeply with them, to try and establish things between us that are ours, little things, like things we might say to each other, or things that we do together. It's as if I spend every day trying to make a mark on their lives so that if something were to happen to me that they will have something to remember me by. It's crazy I know it is. I'm just afraid, I'm afraid that they will forever be left with the same questions that I continue to have today well into my adult life. The pain never goes away and I'm not sure it ever gets any easier either.
Speaking of things we do together, Skylar has now taken to moving the "snuggle time" from my bed to hers. So at night I climb into her tiny little toddler bed with her and we snuggle. I love it, I feel so close to her, she cozies into me and I can feel her relax. Love truly is a beautiful thing. To feel loved and to be able to love back is the most incredible human emotion in my opinion.
Well my little man had his birthday party, it was a huge success. My cake turned out wonderfully and I'm really chuffed with myself (for those of you who are wondering what "chuffed" means, it's a South African slang term we use which means "pleased"). Things went well, he loved his cake and while I didn't get to watch him eat most of it, I know he loved the icing and at one point when it was all gone he cried until someone gave him some more. That little guy...he is just so damn cute! He got very spoilt and loves all his new toys, so too does his Sister.
I cannot believe Ethan will be one tomorrow, it's kind of a sad day for me. I know that I am done having kids, or should I say, the hub is done having kids, so it's as if I'll never get to live these moments again. This is it, he's my last baby and he's getting big too fast.
Skylar and Ethan spent the day with G and G Robl on Monday instead of going to daycare, Grandpa and Skylar came to pick me up from work and she had a red, dirty face from playing outside. She was the picture of childhood. I love it.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Snow?? Seriously??
I took a half day yesterday to leave work at 10:30am, yes I work that early that 10:30am is considered a half day, Hub dropped the kids off here and off we went for a day of fun in the park with Jack and his Mommy. Picnic and play in the sun, what a perfect day. The kids had a lot of fun, laughing and playing. I even managed to get a little farmers tan on the one arm as far as the sleeve. Gotta love the half arm t-shirt tan!! And then I wake up this morning...and this, snow? Seriously? Will this ever end?
Arghh, I know, I know, it's good for the environment blah blah blah. And I mean that in a caring kind of blah blah blah way, honestly I do. It's just that, well it's just that I'm really over the snow and I just want the sun to be here, warm sunny afternoons and evenings on the patio. The kind of afternoons we had on Tuesday, ones where the kids are outside and I quick run inside to get something and I come back out and Skylar is stripped to T-shirt alone sitting in the sandbox with no pants on. Why? I'm not sure, perhaps the sand in the butt directly is better than the sand in the butt via the undies. I'm not sure of the reasoning behind it really. It's three year old reasoning, who ever knows the answers to that kind of thing?
At the park yesterday I tell her it's time to go, she holds up her one finger and says "just a minute Mommy". I have to laugh at it. The things she says are hysterical. Like last night for example, Ethan had a rather messy diaper whilst in his highchair, Ethan got the extended arm hold out of there straight to the tub, Skylar gets down from her seat walks over to inspect the carnage and exclaims loudly "Oh my God!". Of course she hears us saying this, we try not to, and of course I tried to tell her that it's not nice to say things like that and she's not allowed to. But really it's incredibly hard to keep a straight face and be stern when the picture of the whole thing is just so funny. Her face, the way she said it, the sheer disgust of it all was just too dang classic.
Ethan is starting to talk a lot more now but still doesn't say Mamma very much. I'm beginning to think he would better know what to call me if I renamed myself to the title of Booby. He might have some association this way. Since the boy is addicted to nursing and I'm starting to wonder if I will ever be able to wean him at all. I've stopped pumping at work, which allows me an extra 15 minutes out of my 30 minute lunch to chew my food, it's been nice. But since he isn't having pumped milk at daycare, he seems to have doubled his need to nurse when I'm around. I love to nurse him, and I love to feel him close to me, the way he looks up at me, it's truly an amazing bonding experience no matter what stage we are at with it. But it's time to move on, but I'm thinking this is going to be a tough one, perhaps for both of us.
Arghh, I know, I know, it's good for the environment blah blah blah. And I mean that in a caring kind of blah blah blah way, honestly I do. It's just that, well it's just that I'm really over the snow and I just want the sun to be here, warm sunny afternoons and evenings on the patio. The kind of afternoons we had on Tuesday, ones where the kids are outside and I quick run inside to get something and I come back out and Skylar is stripped to T-shirt alone sitting in the sandbox with no pants on. Why? I'm not sure, perhaps the sand in the butt directly is better than the sand in the butt via the undies. I'm not sure of the reasoning behind it really. It's three year old reasoning, who ever knows the answers to that kind of thing?
At the park yesterday I tell her it's time to go, she holds up her one finger and says "just a minute Mommy". I have to laugh at it. The things she says are hysterical. Like last night for example, Ethan had a rather messy diaper whilst in his highchair, Ethan got the extended arm hold out of there straight to the tub, Skylar gets down from her seat walks over to inspect the carnage and exclaims loudly "Oh my God!". Of course she hears us saying this, we try not to, and of course I tried to tell her that it's not nice to say things like that and she's not allowed to. But really it's incredibly hard to keep a straight face and be stern when the picture of the whole thing is just so funny. Her face, the way she said it, the sheer disgust of it all was just too dang classic.
Ethan is starting to talk a lot more now but still doesn't say Mamma very much. I'm beginning to think he would better know what to call me if I renamed myself to the title of Booby. He might have some association this way. Since the boy is addicted to nursing and I'm starting to wonder if I will ever be able to wean him at all. I've stopped pumping at work, which allows me an extra 15 minutes out of my 30 minute lunch to chew my food, it's been nice. But since he isn't having pumped milk at daycare, he seems to have doubled his need to nurse when I'm around. I love to nurse him, and I love to feel him close to me, the way he looks up at me, it's truly an amazing bonding experience no matter what stage we are at with it. But it's time to move on, but I'm thinking this is going to be a tough one, perhaps for both of us.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Birthday Fever
Well almost a year has passed since Ethan was ripped from my womb. Sounds harsh doesn't it? But truly with a c-section that's kind of how it feels. The boy is about to turn one, well in a couple weeks that is. However I have birthday fever, and a planning I will go.
We have his birthday party planned for May 4th and Grandma and Grandpa R will be flying into town to join the festivities. How fun to have G and G R in town for the big B’Day party. I can't help but wonder how Skylar is going to handle Ethan having presents to open and not her. I'm not a huge believer in bringing the sibling a present to the party so they don't feel left out, honestly I find that ridiculous. But each to their own, Skylar will just have to realise her day is coming and this is Ethan's big day. Now I will encourage them to share the new toys of course. And even if Ethan won't share Skylar will rip it out of his hands or put it out of reach or run off with it anyway. So goes having an older sister I guess.
So the guests, all of our wonderful friends will be in attendance and the menu is planned. The cake will be a doggie cake that I will carefully hand-craft to look just like the picture in the recipe. Yeah right!!! Who am I kidding? It will be a cake with a jumbled mess of frosting that vaguely resembles a dog, road-kill perhaps but a dog nonetheless. And the guests will have to be told that it’s a “doggie” and then of course they will all have to compliment me on my Martha Stewart like prowess, even though none of them believe it for one second. This is why we have friends, they lie to us to make us feel better about ourselves. I love my friends and am very blessed to have each one of them in my life.
The sun has been shining down on us brightly the past few days, as the Winter dullness makes way for Spring sunshine I feel a shift in the mood. I love this time of year, I get to celebrate my babies, a birthday in May and one in June. Bring it on Summer, we are ready for days filled with laughter, bubbles and general shenanigans. I am not ready for a swimsuit, but that's an entirely different blog.
We have his birthday party planned for May 4th and Grandma and Grandpa R will be flying into town to join the festivities. How fun to have G and G R in town for the big B’Day party. I can't help but wonder how Skylar is going to handle Ethan having presents to open and not her. I'm not a huge believer in bringing the sibling a present to the party so they don't feel left out, honestly I find that ridiculous. But each to their own, Skylar will just have to realise her day is coming and this is Ethan's big day. Now I will encourage them to share the new toys of course. And even if Ethan won't share Skylar will rip it out of his hands or put it out of reach or run off with it anyway. So goes having an older sister I guess.
So the guests, all of our wonderful friends will be in attendance and the menu is planned. The cake will be a doggie cake that I will carefully hand-craft to look just like the picture in the recipe. Yeah right!!! Who am I kidding? It will be a cake with a jumbled mess of frosting that vaguely resembles a dog, road-kill perhaps but a dog nonetheless. And the guests will have to be told that it’s a “doggie” and then of course they will all have to compliment me on my Martha Stewart like prowess, even though none of them believe it for one second. This is why we have friends, they lie to us to make us feel better about ourselves. I love my friends and am very blessed to have each one of them in my life.
The sun has been shining down on us brightly the past few days, as the Winter dullness makes way for Spring sunshine I feel a shift in the mood. I love this time of year, I get to celebrate my babies, a birthday in May and one in June. Bring it on Summer, we are ready for days filled with laughter, bubbles and general shenanigans. I am not ready for a swimsuit, but that's an entirely different blog.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Close Encounters of the Excremental Kind...stay with me here
This is not for those with weak stomachs, or for those who don't enjoy poop-talk. It's been a week from...well instead perhaps I should say, and quite appropriately so, it's been a shitty week.
The week started out with Daisy (furry kid with the herniated disc) having terrible problems with her stomach. I started out Tuesday morning by giving her a bath, and then ended the day with giving her a bath. Three baths and about four spray downs later, Tuesday was done. That was just the dog.
Ethan, same problem, only in addition to the constant liquid poop, he also has a double ear-infection and two top teeth that are taking F-O-R-E-V-E-R to come through and of course a good old fashioned diaper rash that is so bad he could barely sit down. The boy clings to me like a tree-monkey. So as a result Tuesday night yielded no sleep for me (are you starting to see a theme here?) and Wednedsay morning I decided to stay home and take care of my boy and help him heal. Well it worked. He is on the mend and had a great nights sleep last night.
But, still, I am not done. So Ethan is sleeping and relatively pain free, Daisy has eaten a half can of pumpkin pie filling (who woulda thunk!) and that leaves Skylar. Well in true form, things can't run smooth, there will be no 8 hours of sleep in my house, no way, no how. She starts coughing, coughing leads to gagging, gagging leads to puking. Of course...why not right! So goes the rest of the night, a couple pjamas and a few changes of bedding later. And yes I had to clean the carpet, which by the way, I just steam cleaned on Saturday. Then I had to scrub the bathroom floor. My knees smelt like puke, my knees people. Hard labourous scrubbing = puke knees. I love my life!
Tonight, I'm drinking, heavily! Oh how I wish. Tonight, in reality I'll be doing the 5 loads of laundry that one day brings.
Do you all feel sorry for me yet?
The week started out with Daisy (furry kid with the herniated disc) having terrible problems with her stomach. I started out Tuesday morning by giving her a bath, and then ended the day with giving her a bath. Three baths and about four spray downs later, Tuesday was done. That was just the dog.
Ethan, same problem, only in addition to the constant liquid poop, he also has a double ear-infection and two top teeth that are taking F-O-R-E-V-E-R to come through and of course a good old fashioned diaper rash that is so bad he could barely sit down. The boy clings to me like a tree-monkey. So as a result Tuesday night yielded no sleep for me (are you starting to see a theme here?) and Wednedsay morning I decided to stay home and take care of my boy and help him heal. Well it worked. He is on the mend and had a great nights sleep last night.
But, still, I am not done. So Ethan is sleeping and relatively pain free, Daisy has eaten a half can of pumpkin pie filling (who woulda thunk!) and that leaves Skylar. Well in true form, things can't run smooth, there will be no 8 hours of sleep in my house, no way, no how. She starts coughing, coughing leads to gagging, gagging leads to puking. Of course...why not right! So goes the rest of the night, a couple pjamas and a few changes of bedding later. And yes I had to clean the carpet, which by the way, I just steam cleaned on Saturday. Then I had to scrub the bathroom floor. My knees smelt like puke, my knees people. Hard labourous scrubbing = puke knees. I love my life!
Tonight, I'm drinking, heavily! Oh how I wish. Tonight, in reality I'll be doing the 5 loads of laundry that one day brings.
Do you all feel sorry for me yet?
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Will I Ever Sleep Again?
This is a question I have been asking myself a lot lately. It seems that sleep is something from the past, much like most of all the other activities I once enjoyed. Don't get me wrong, I don't begrudge having my children that resulted in my altered lifestyle, but I sure wish these babies that turned me into a home body would just lie down and go sleep, for say, oh ten or twelve hours at once. I have worn a pathway in my carpet from my room to theirs, hour after hour tending to one, or the other, or even both at times. Ethan is teething, Skylar has nightmares. I understand, truly I do, well I do when it's 8am and I'm supposed to be awake, I do not when it's 2am and I'm supposed to be asleep.
I look at sleep like it was once my most passionate lover, always left me feeling amazing. We have since parted ways and I'm left with nothing but the memories of euphoria that I once felt.
I'm feeling exceptionally whiney this morning, perhaps it's because...ummm, let's see...that's right, it's because I had NO SLEEP. Bingo!
So in toddler news Skylar cracks me up these days. She relays stories about kids at her daycare that go something like this. Me: "So how was your day today sweetie?" Skylar: "Good. Blake pooped his pants.” Oh so matter-of-factly. I love it.
Skylar also likes to tell me what Ethan wants or needs. For example, he wants cheese, or he's crying because he wants me, that he is stinky. She also likes to tell on him when he is about to get into some mischief you know she is dying to partake in but instead rats him out. I can't wait to hear their first conversation. It's going to be a good one.
I want to end on this note. I'm so grateful for my family, my husband and my two beautiful children. I hope some day when I have slept you will all feel the same way about me.
I look at sleep like it was once my most passionate lover, always left me feeling amazing. We have since parted ways and I'm left with nothing but the memories of euphoria that I once felt.
I'm feeling exceptionally whiney this morning, perhaps it's because...ummm, let's see...that's right, it's because I had NO SLEEP. Bingo!
So in toddler news Skylar cracks me up these days. She relays stories about kids at her daycare that go something like this. Me: "So how was your day today sweetie?" Skylar: "Good. Blake pooped his pants.” Oh so matter-of-factly. I love it.
Skylar also likes to tell me what Ethan wants or needs. For example, he wants cheese, or he's crying because he wants me, that he is stinky. She also likes to tell on him when he is about to get into some mischief you know she is dying to partake in but instead rats him out. I can't wait to hear their first conversation. It's going to be a good one.
I want to end on this note. I'm so grateful for my family, my husband and my two beautiful children. I hope some day when I have slept you will all feel the same way about me.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Furry Kids
Yes, in addition to the two human children I also have three furry ones. We had four until last November when we lost one of our kitties to a Lily! It was a sad time and we still can't believe the manner in which he went out.
It's been a bad time for the kids of the furry kind in our house as of late. Upon our return trip from Africa we came home to our one dog with a herniated disc, some steep medical bills from emergency room visits and a $4500.00 - $7000.00 quote for a surgery. Fun times, fun times!!!
Firstly, what?? $7000.00?? It didn't even cost me that much to have two kids by c-section. Anyhoo, in my quest to find an alternative to the surgery I found a doc who does acupuncture and holistic healing in a small mountain town about an hour from here. Well after the consult I was given an 80% chance of a full recovery for my pooch. What a relief. Now I know it sounds a little quirky, but I'm willing to give it a shot and see where it takes me. I can't help but have faith in the methods of the madness.
It's been a bad time for the kids of the furry kind in our house as of late. Upon our return trip from Africa we came home to our one dog with a herniated disc, some steep medical bills from emergency room visits and a $4500.00 - $7000.00 quote for a surgery. Fun times, fun times!!!
Firstly, what?? $7000.00?? It didn't even cost me that much to have two kids by c-section. Anyhoo, in my quest to find an alternative to the surgery I found a doc who does acupuncture and holistic healing in a small mountain town about an hour from here. Well after the consult I was given an 80% chance of a full recovery for my pooch. What a relief. Now I know it sounds a little quirky, but I'm willing to give it a shot and see where it takes me. I can't help but have faith in the methods of the madness.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Are we there yet??
Well it's Thursday morning, I think, although I'm not entirely sure I know what day it is, where I am, or why Ethan's cries are still ringing in my head from yesterday. All I do know at this point is, I'm at work staring at my computer in a half daze wondering what it is I need to do next. Now...what was I doing? Oh yeah!
The trip was fantastic. Going home is always such a wonderful thing for me, it reminds me of who I am and where I came from and how lucky I am to have the things I have. We drove through some truly depressing parts where you can't even imagine people live. It always humbles me. I go back and have to set my clock to South African time, which means everything takes forever, the food, the driving, and the washing to dry on the line. The thing with this is, I have noticed that on African time I seem less stressed, less rushed and less angry. It feels as though there is more time in the day and not so much pressure to cram a busy day into 10 hours. The kids played and laughed and had fun, Skylar didn't miss TV, she loved the beach and playing outside, and she swam and laughed and glowed. Ethan learnt to pull himself up on everything and how to get dirty. He smiles and waves bye-bye to everyone; he got so much attention and love he was exploding with happiness. We took time to be a family, to relax and to have a little fun. It doesn't get much better than that.
On our trip we did have some hiccups, Skylar choked on some meat and I had to give her the Heimlich, Ethan held his breath till he passed out while I frantically ran around the restaurant hysterical, there are many other crazy instances of danger and living on the edge, almost too many to list, but we made it. Skylar learnt that in the vast expanses of African bush that the need for a potty break simply means pull off the road and go, she loved the idea and it's as if she waited to have to go until we were surrounded by miles of nothing just so she could experience the freedom of bush-peeing. And then on one occasion on a drive through the game park she was laughing so hard she peed her pants and continued to laugh even harder. I think laughing that hard pardons any potty accident, I wish we all laughed so hard we pee our pants. It's good for the heart!
On this trip, we have built relationships, renewed old friendships, fallen in love and learnt that nothing should ever be taken for granted.
Things that I learnt to not take for granted:
Electricity (due to load shedding)
Hot water (see above)
Pot-hole free roads
That someone won't overtake on a blind rise and potentially kill you as you approach
Food to arrive within an hour of ordering it
There are a few more things I could add to my list, but it seems unfair, as if I'm complaining. I'm not, I love Africa, it's my home.
I have many more tales from darkest Africa to share, however at this time I find myself staring blankly at my screen again. I wish the screams of my overtired, exhausted child will stop in my head. Did I mention that he cried all the way from JFK to Denver, no nipple in the world could pacify him. The lady in front of us was clearly not a "baby person" and her hatred was felt with every nasty stare and huff and puff. I wanted to speak, I wanted to ask her if she had a problem with my screaming child, I wanted to scold her for being so insensitive, but my efforts would have been lost on her. I'm not sure we'll be friends, but I do hope that she still has my child’s screams in her head today too. Ahh yes, how does that slogan go..."fly the friendly skies", this does not apply to you my dear friend in seat 8F. May the screams of my child and the whining of my daughter forever be with you.
The trip was fantastic. Going home is always such a wonderful thing for me, it reminds me of who I am and where I came from and how lucky I am to have the things I have. We drove through some truly depressing parts where you can't even imagine people live. It always humbles me. I go back and have to set my clock to South African time, which means everything takes forever, the food, the driving, and the washing to dry on the line. The thing with this is, I have noticed that on African time I seem less stressed, less rushed and less angry. It feels as though there is more time in the day and not so much pressure to cram a busy day into 10 hours. The kids played and laughed and had fun, Skylar didn't miss TV, she loved the beach and playing outside, and she swam and laughed and glowed. Ethan learnt to pull himself up on everything and how to get dirty. He smiles and waves bye-bye to everyone; he got so much attention and love he was exploding with happiness. We took time to be a family, to relax and to have a little fun. It doesn't get much better than that.
On our trip we did have some hiccups, Skylar choked on some meat and I had to give her the Heimlich, Ethan held his breath till he passed out while I frantically ran around the restaurant hysterical, there are many other crazy instances of danger and living on the edge, almost too many to list, but we made it. Skylar learnt that in the vast expanses of African bush that the need for a potty break simply means pull off the road and go, she loved the idea and it's as if she waited to have to go until we were surrounded by miles of nothing just so she could experience the freedom of bush-peeing. And then on one occasion on a drive through the game park she was laughing so hard she peed her pants and continued to laugh even harder. I think laughing that hard pardons any potty accident, I wish we all laughed so hard we pee our pants. It's good for the heart!
On this trip, we have built relationships, renewed old friendships, fallen in love and learnt that nothing should ever be taken for granted.
Things that I learnt to not take for granted:
Electricity (due to load shedding)
Hot water (see above)
Pot-hole free roads
That someone won't overtake on a blind rise and potentially kill you as you approach
Food to arrive within an hour of ordering it
There are a few more things I could add to my list, but it seems unfair, as if I'm complaining. I'm not, I love Africa, it's my home.
I have many more tales from darkest Africa to share, however at this time I find myself staring blankly at my screen again. I wish the screams of my overtired, exhausted child will stop in my head. Did I mention that he cried all the way from JFK to Denver, no nipple in the world could pacify him. The lady in front of us was clearly not a "baby person" and her hatred was felt with every nasty stare and huff and puff. I wanted to speak, I wanted to ask her if she had a problem with my screaming child, I wanted to scold her for being so insensitive, but my efforts would have been lost on her. I'm not sure we'll be friends, but I do hope that she still has my child’s screams in her head today too. Ahh yes, how does that slogan go..."fly the friendly skies", this does not apply to you my dear friend in seat 8F. May the screams of my child and the whining of my daughter forever be with you.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Planes, Trains and Automobiles
Well we have safely landed in SA but it's been quite the trip. First of course we had to take the midnight flight from Denver to JFK and spend the day in New York, that part of the trip was easy and quite painless. Then we boarded the flight from JFK to Johannesburg and it was a long, long plane ride. Skylar had been so excited about the trip but even to her the long haul got a bit much, about 10 hours into it she looks up at me from her seat, barely keeping her eyes open and says: "Mommy, I don't want to go to Attica anymore". Ha, poor baby, she was so exhausted. But between the two of them I can't complain, they were incredibly good and made the trip pretty stress free.
Since we have been here the kids have been having so much fun. Africa, I do love coming home. Makes me feel like a kid all over again too.
Ethan has developed and ear infection, took him to the doc today, I'm still amazed at how the trip to the doc and the prescription cost me less here than it would in the USA with insurance. Boggles the mind.
Johannesburg INTL, gave us an unregistered car rental, nice, so I come out of the store and sure enough I have a R600.00 ticket for not displaying a valid registration. Honestly, how can you screw up something like that? Anyway all taken care of and we now have a spanky new car that doesn't smell like cat pee.
I have had little sleep in four days, so as I write this I realise it is probably boring and completely un-funny and who knows if any of it even makes any sense. All I can think of right now though is curling up in my 100 degree room and sweating myself into slumber land, that is for a moment until Ethan wakes up again.
Since we have been here the kids have been having so much fun. Africa, I do love coming home. Makes me feel like a kid all over again too.
Ethan has developed and ear infection, took him to the doc today, I'm still amazed at how the trip to the doc and the prescription cost me less here than it would in the USA with insurance. Boggles the mind.
Johannesburg INTL, gave us an unregistered car rental, nice, so I come out of the store and sure enough I have a R600.00 ticket for not displaying a valid registration. Honestly, how can you screw up something like that? Anyway all taken care of and we now have a spanky new car that doesn't smell like cat pee.
I have had little sleep in four days, so as I write this I realise it is probably boring and completely un-funny and who knows if any of it even makes any sense. All I can think of right now though is curling up in my 100 degree room and sweating myself into slumber land, that is for a moment until Ethan wakes up again.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Random Thoughts
Well here I am again...trouble in slumber land. It's 9:25pm and Skylar is whining about what CD she listens to, it's 9:25pm, at this point I'm ready to throw the CD player through a window. Does it matter if it's Curious George or Mermaid?? I think not! GO TO SLEEP.
Right, onto the next thing. While I was dressing Skylar the other day I had to tackle the tiniest button on her shirt. Honestly, do the people who make childrens clothing not have kids? Have they not ever tried to push a tiny button through a tiny button hole and a wiggly tiny person. Hello folks. I think buttons are a bad idea, period.
While shopping the other weekend, seems I've been doing a lot of this lately, I encountered a very rude mother/child combo. The little girl was sitting in the stroller and as we walked by she made some rude noise at Skylar and took a swipe. I didn't pay too much attention, that is until the Mother started yelling at the cashier and practically threw a pair of pants at her. I was amazed. Now this is my question, is she a bad Mother for passing on her nastiness to her daughter who will probably grow up to be a school yard bully? Or am I the bad Mother because I am ready to throw the CD player through a window, along with the CD's and then lock myself in the bathroom and scream until I am hoarse. Hmmm, it's a tough one isn't it?
Ethan said Mamma today, no really he did! I know he did. He said it because he loves me and doesn't judge me for wanting to throw the stupid CD player through a window.
Well the plan was to pack early so that I had time to take things out and rethink things and all of that good -in-theory kind of stuff. Well the plan was to take two suitcases, now a week later I have three. What the heck happened? I guess the plan backfired, it just gave me more time to remember more crap that I don't need but have to take. Ahh yes, still enjoying the wonders of packing.
I wish all these people with the flu would stay home and stay away from me. I'm taking a trip in two days and I'm paranoid as all get-out that I'll wake up Friday morning with the flu. Stay away people, I don't need to share your ickies!
Right, onto the next thing. While I was dressing Skylar the other day I had to tackle the tiniest button on her shirt. Honestly, do the people who make childrens clothing not have kids? Have they not ever tried to push a tiny button through a tiny button hole and a wiggly tiny person. Hello folks. I think buttons are a bad idea, period.
While shopping the other weekend, seems I've been doing a lot of this lately, I encountered a very rude mother/child combo. The little girl was sitting in the stroller and as we walked by she made some rude noise at Skylar and took a swipe. I didn't pay too much attention, that is until the Mother started yelling at the cashier and practically threw a pair of pants at her. I was amazed. Now this is my question, is she a bad Mother for passing on her nastiness to her daughter who will probably grow up to be a school yard bully? Or am I the bad Mother because I am ready to throw the CD player through a window, along with the CD's and then lock myself in the bathroom and scream until I am hoarse. Hmmm, it's a tough one isn't it?
Ethan said Mamma today, no really he did! I know he did. He said it because he loves me and doesn't judge me for wanting to throw the stupid CD player through a window.
Well the plan was to pack early so that I had time to take things out and rethink things and all of that good -in-theory kind of stuff. Well the plan was to take two suitcases, now a week later I have three. What the heck happened? I guess the plan backfired, it just gave me more time to remember more crap that I don't need but have to take. Ahh yes, still enjoying the wonders of packing.
I wish all these people with the flu would stay home and stay away from me. I'm taking a trip in two days and I'm paranoid as all get-out that I'll wake up Friday morning with the flu. Stay away people, I don't need to share your ickies!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Bedtime Woes
I used to have in my mind the visions of brushing teeth, quietly reading, singing and then sweet kisses goodnight. Now while this scenario is true, my vision of perfect bedtime ends there, however my reality does not.
Ethan has been waking up crying hysterically, he sits up in his crib and just cries his little eyes out. I try rubbing/patting his back, to no avail, I've tried the cry-it-out method (which is torturous). Nothing works, well of course nursing and sleeping in Mommy's tired arms does, but what works for him is not working for me. This is a stage...it will pass. I have to tell myself this, I need to make it through the night.
Then when one is sleeping the other decides to wake. At almost three years old I would have thought Skylar would be a breeze by now, sleeping from 8:30pm to 8:30am. There I go again, off in la-la land. My child has decided to punish me by waking up several times during the night screaming for me. Please, please, please, I must get some sleep.
My Record last week, 7 times in one night, yes that's right SEVEN. I spent more time out of bed than I did in bed. And if this wasn't bad enough, there lay the hubby snoring away in slumber land with not a care in the world. In my next life I want to come back as a man, I want to know this thing they call relaxation, sleep and oh yeah that other thing called time-to-myself.
As I finish this up, I listen to the beautiful sound of my children sleeping. I breath in this moment for I know that this feeling of bedtime triumph will last about as long as it takes me to close my eyes and get comfy before the first cry shatters my dreams.
Ethan has been waking up crying hysterically, he sits up in his crib and just cries his little eyes out. I try rubbing/patting his back, to no avail, I've tried the cry-it-out method (which is torturous). Nothing works, well of course nursing and sleeping in Mommy's tired arms does, but what works for him is not working for me. This is a stage...it will pass. I have to tell myself this, I need to make it through the night.
Then when one is sleeping the other decides to wake. At almost three years old I would have thought Skylar would be a breeze by now, sleeping from 8:30pm to 8:30am. There I go again, off in la-la land. My child has decided to punish me by waking up several times during the night screaming for me. Please, please, please, I must get some sleep.
My Record last week, 7 times in one night, yes that's right SEVEN. I spent more time out of bed than I did in bed. And if this wasn't bad enough, there lay the hubby snoring away in slumber land with not a care in the world. In my next life I want to come back as a man, I want to know this thing they call relaxation, sleep and oh yeah that other thing called time-to-myself.
As I finish this up, I listen to the beautiful sound of my children sleeping. I breath in this moment for I know that this feeling of bedtime triumph will last about as long as it takes me to close my eyes and get comfy before the first cry shatters my dreams.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
The Packing Frenzy
In two and a half short weeks I will be walking out of the plane into the African sunshine. The time of departure is almost upon us. Now while there are many things I am looking forward to, such as the kids seeing G and G Stroebel and their Aunt and Uncle and all of that great stuff. I too am looking forward to the sunshine, the beach and some much needed R&R. Oh-and the great chocolate!
We, the husband and myself, have taken the trip many times, once with a nine month old which was smooth, however this time around might prove to be a little more challenging. There will be two little people, one of which will probably want to talk to everyone and share the contents of her purse with everyone on board (she does that now, we are out someplace with the bag in tow and sure enough, she pops it open and spills it's guts to anyone who will listen) and then the other little person who can't sit still and squirms all over the place in an attempt to get down and keep perfecting his new found talent, yes the boy is finally crawling. Now, it's a flight from here to JFK (in the middle of the night) to arrive at 6am and then spend the entire day waiting for our grueling 18 hour flight at 5:30pm. YIKES! It's going to be a rough one, with not a lot of sleep that's for sure. I feel sorry for any unsuspecting narrow-minded individual who may dare to give me the evil eye when I nurse my child in a public place. An overprotective Mamma with no sleep is not a Mamma you want to cross.
Now is the packing issue. I know that two kids is enough, just them, now I have to take along enough clothes for a three week trip for four of us and try to squeeze it all into a reasonable amount of luggage so we aren't swallowed alive by our suitcases. I'm thinking a pair of short, couple tanks, a swimming costume (or swimsuit as we say in America) and a pair of sandals. Done. But what if we go out to eat, or if it's cold, or if Ethan throws up on me...see...this is the problem. I can pack light if I didn't have any what-ifs floating around in my head. So in the end no matter how much I try to prepare for this trip, I will end up packing too much, we'll be exhausted lugging it around and when it's time to come home we will have bought so much stuff there that we'll have no room to add the new stuff to the old stuff that we shouldn't have taken to begin with. The joys of packing.
The pleasure of the trip will outweigh the pain of the process though.
We, the husband and myself, have taken the trip many times, once with a nine month old which was smooth, however this time around might prove to be a little more challenging. There will be two little people, one of which will probably want to talk to everyone and share the contents of her purse with everyone on board (she does that now, we are out someplace with the bag in tow and sure enough, she pops it open and spills it's guts to anyone who will listen) and then the other little person who can't sit still and squirms all over the place in an attempt to get down and keep perfecting his new found talent, yes the boy is finally crawling. Now, it's a flight from here to JFK (in the middle of the night) to arrive at 6am and then spend the entire day waiting for our grueling 18 hour flight at 5:30pm. YIKES! It's going to be a rough one, with not a lot of sleep that's for sure. I feel sorry for any unsuspecting narrow-minded individual who may dare to give me the evil eye when I nurse my child in a public place. An overprotective Mamma with no sleep is not a Mamma you want to cross.
Now is the packing issue. I know that two kids is enough, just them, now I have to take along enough clothes for a three week trip for four of us and try to squeeze it all into a reasonable amount of luggage so we aren't swallowed alive by our suitcases. I'm thinking a pair of short, couple tanks, a swimming costume (or swimsuit as we say in America) and a pair of sandals. Done. But what if we go out to eat, or if it's cold, or if Ethan throws up on me...see...this is the problem. I can pack light if I didn't have any what-ifs floating around in my head. So in the end no matter how much I try to prepare for this trip, I will end up packing too much, we'll be exhausted lugging it around and when it's time to come home we will have bought so much stuff there that we'll have no room to add the new stuff to the old stuff that we shouldn't have taken to begin with. The joys of packing.
The pleasure of the trip will outweigh the pain of the process though.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Am I Immune?? To Everything??
I have this pen on my desk from a hotel with a catchy little phrase that says "wake up on the bright side". I'm not sure if this pen found it's way into my life to remind me of something or if it's simply just a pen I found lying around (or...stole from another co-workers desk). But I'm not sure I like it's in-your-face-be-happy-stop-complaining-about-yesterday kind of presence. Yes folks I'm not feeling in the"wake up on the bright side" kind of mood. Is it obvious?
Last week was a week from hell. I was put to the ultimate test in every way possible, work, wife, mommy, person who I would like to run of the road...you know what I mean. EVERYTHING!
Hubby woke up Sunday feeling grim, Super Bowl Sunday and the Packers didn't make it, if I were him I wouldn't feel so good either. As the day progressed he got worse, and by worse I mean more whiney, well and sick too I suppose. Monday morning he slugged through work and came home miserable, by Tuesday he was at the doctors office first thing in the morning...WHOA...back up! YES, the doctors office. I have been married to this man for almost 10 years and the only time he ever went to the doctor was disguised (for insurance purposes) as his brother for a strep test. I believe he got there and chickened out though, so I'm not sure this counts either. So later in the day I get a call, it's the flu. The man has the flu!! I have to admit that he did look like death warmed over, but all of us woman know that when our men have the slightest icky feeling the entire world will come to an end. Well to cut a long story short, and to get back to me and my misery over the whole thing, since really it's all about me isn't it? He calls to say he has the flu, I need to take the kids in right away. Ethan just coming off RSV and too little to go onto Tamiflu and Skylar who is sickness prone, I rush them off the only doctors appointment I can get for the day. Of course, it's extemely inconvenient with the work situation, but I go off get my kids from daycare, do the doc office, come to find out both kids don't have flu but both have nasty ear-infections. I bundle them back up, come back to work with the brood in tow, since hubby has been told to stay away from all of us. I work. I leave work to venture home and pick up prescriptions on the way, and of course I hit traffic. Poor baby girl in the back saying "Mommy I have to pee-pee"...nowhere to stop..."Mommy I pee-peed on my seat". Really??? Why can't I just have the flu? Seems easier already.
That folks is just one day, actually just a couple hours. I slept on the floor for three days, each ache and pain suggesting I might be coming down with the flu, hope, that maybe I too can rest. But NO, no me. Fit as a fiddle as my Grandpa would say. I have to admit while I am glad I avoided the nasty flu bug in order to care of (ever so lovingly I would like to add) my family, it was completely exhausting. I suppose as Mothers we are immune to such things as the flu, so that our families can be sick and there is someone to take care of them. Immunity Shimmunity.
I am happy to say that the family is all well and the hubby is back on kitty scooping and trash-taking-out duties.
Oh and I am sleeping in my bed again, oh how I love my bed!
Last week was a week from hell. I was put to the ultimate test in every way possible, work, wife, mommy, person who I would like to run of the road...you know what I mean. EVERYTHING!
Hubby woke up Sunday feeling grim, Super Bowl Sunday and the Packers didn't make it, if I were him I wouldn't feel so good either. As the day progressed he got worse, and by worse I mean more whiney, well and sick too I suppose. Monday morning he slugged through work and came home miserable, by Tuesday he was at the doctors office first thing in the morning...WHOA...back up! YES, the doctors office. I have been married to this man for almost 10 years and the only time he ever went to the doctor was disguised (for insurance purposes) as his brother for a strep test. I believe he got there and chickened out though, so I'm not sure this counts either. So later in the day I get a call, it's the flu. The man has the flu!! I have to admit that he did look like death warmed over, but all of us woman know that when our men have the slightest icky feeling the entire world will come to an end. Well to cut a long story short, and to get back to me and my misery over the whole thing, since really it's all about me isn't it? He calls to say he has the flu, I need to take the kids in right away. Ethan just coming off RSV and too little to go onto Tamiflu and Skylar who is sickness prone, I rush them off the only doctors appointment I can get for the day. Of course, it's extemely inconvenient with the work situation, but I go off get my kids from daycare, do the doc office, come to find out both kids don't have flu but both have nasty ear-infections. I bundle them back up, come back to work with the brood in tow, since hubby has been told to stay away from all of us. I work. I leave work to venture home and pick up prescriptions on the way, and of course I hit traffic. Poor baby girl in the back saying "Mommy I have to pee-pee"...nowhere to stop..."Mommy I pee-peed on my seat". Really??? Why can't I just have the flu? Seems easier already.
That folks is just one day, actually just a couple hours. I slept on the floor for three days, each ache and pain suggesting I might be coming down with the flu, hope, that maybe I too can rest. But NO, no me. Fit as a fiddle as my Grandpa would say. I have to admit while I am glad I avoided the nasty flu bug in order to care of (ever so lovingly I would like to add) my family, it was completely exhausting. I suppose as Mothers we are immune to such things as the flu, so that our families can be sick and there is someone to take care of them. Immunity Shimmunity.
I am happy to say that the family is all well and the hubby is back on kitty scooping and trash-taking-out duties.
Oh and I am sleeping in my bed again, oh how I love my bed!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Little green monster called Jelousy
At two and half I can hardly imagine what it must be like to be the center of the Universe, to have your every move and word, ooohed and ahhhhed over, then to wake up one morning and your life as you knew it....over! Instead now taking your spotlight is this new little person being carried and loved, being fed with parts of Mommy that once belonged to you. I imagine that it's a pretty traumatic experience. Now understanding the psychology behind the trauma does not make me tolerant of the behaviour associated with the trauma, I try, but I am weak.
Ethan is now almost 9 months old and while I thought that for Skylar the new-ness of it all would have worn off and she would be settling into her role as big sister and by now would be used to the shared attention, this is not the case. In fact it gets worse with time instead of better. She looks at him with so much disdain at times, she whines for my attention, imitates his cries when I respond to them. She pushes him off my lap and squirms her way between us. My little girl, nobody can replace her, I wish she knew how much I loved her, how beautiful I think she is and how when she takes my face in her little (sometimes sticky) hands and looks me square in the eye and says "I love you Mommy", how that makes my heart leap and my Mommy love explode. I wish she knew that every second of the day that I am trapped in my cubicle willing away time, I am thinking about her and her brother, what they are doing, what fun thing I am missing out on. I suppose you just can't tell a two year old those emotions and expect them to understand.
The other day Ethan was sitting playing with his toys and he fell over backwards and slammed his head into the floor, cries rang out, I ran out to pick him up and rub his head and love him. Skylar, who was playing quietly, watched the whole thing go down and drank it all in. PING...a light-bulb went off in her little head. She walked over to the exact same offending spot, slammed her head into the ground and proceeded to cry. Kids are smart, smarter than we can ever be. I think with age we get dummer, because kids, they know how to manipulate, they know how to do things and get away with just about most of it. Smart!!! They are here to test us.
Skylar has been telling me a lot about monsters lately, that the monster will bite me, monsters on the aeroplane (as if flying doesn't terrify me enough), I have no idea where the monsters are coming from, but I do know this. She herself is a little green monster called Jealousy right now! She is my little green monster, my little monster trying to hold her own and keep her spot as the most oohed and ahhed of the siblings!
I love these little people.
Ethan is now almost 9 months old and while I thought that for Skylar the new-ness of it all would have worn off and she would be settling into her role as big sister and by now would be used to the shared attention, this is not the case. In fact it gets worse with time instead of better. She looks at him with so much disdain at times, she whines for my attention, imitates his cries when I respond to them. She pushes him off my lap and squirms her way between us. My little girl, nobody can replace her, I wish she knew how much I loved her, how beautiful I think she is and how when she takes my face in her little (sometimes sticky) hands and looks me square in the eye and says "I love you Mommy", how that makes my heart leap and my Mommy love explode. I wish she knew that every second of the day that I am trapped in my cubicle willing away time, I am thinking about her and her brother, what they are doing, what fun thing I am missing out on. I suppose you just can't tell a two year old those emotions and expect them to understand.
The other day Ethan was sitting playing with his toys and he fell over backwards and slammed his head into the floor, cries rang out, I ran out to pick him up and rub his head and love him. Skylar, who was playing quietly, watched the whole thing go down and drank it all in. PING...a light-bulb went off in her little head. She walked over to the exact same offending spot, slammed her head into the ground and proceeded to cry. Kids are smart, smarter than we can ever be. I think with age we get dummer, because kids, they know how to manipulate, they know how to do things and get away with just about most of it. Smart!!! They are here to test us.
Skylar has been telling me a lot about monsters lately, that the monster will bite me, monsters on the aeroplane (as if flying doesn't terrify me enough), I have no idea where the monsters are coming from, but I do know this. She herself is a little green monster called Jealousy right now! She is my little green monster, my little monster trying to hold her own and keep her spot as the most oohed and ahhed of the siblings!
I love these little people.
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